I started the process to become an SG Hopeful on June 13 of this year, and I'm nervous and excited about my first set "Lazy Sunday" being released for Member Review in a couple months. It wasn't always this way, though. Like a lot of people, I have inner demons that are constantly trying to rear their stupid little heads and tell me that I'm not pretty, not good enough, not worthy of love, etc. Even though I've been in a relationship for almost ten years now with a very patient and understanding man, these inner demons began to show themselves again around the beginning of June. My Idiot, as I affectionately call him, asked me to check his e-mail for confirmation about his application for Covid relief, and when I did, I saw a message about the renewal of his SuicideGirls account.
I asked him what SuicideGirls was, and he showed me the website. The first thing that greeted me was the photoset of the day, and I couldn't understand why he wanted to pay to look at pictures of other girls while he was in a relationship with me, when there are websites that do that for free. It didn't do anything for my self-esteem, even when he tried to explain to me that SG was a lot more than just pictures of hot girls wearing next to nothing.
However, after he showed me more of the site, with its groups, blogs, videos, and community, I realized that it's a place for all kinds of people to feel like they belong when the rest of society would treat them like they don't. He also showed me some sets from girls who are bigger and curvier, reminding me that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. It made me want to be a part of it too, and I asked him what he'd think if I applied to be a model here. He, being my ever-understanding Idiot, said he'd like to see me on SG and encouraged me to start the application process. So I went out of my comfort zone and, in the biggest leap of faith since I bungee jumped at the West Edmonton Mall, I applied to be a Hopeful.
Since then, we've bought some new photography equipment and shot a few sets, experimenting with different locations, lighting, and poses, and my self-confidence has started to get better. We finally chose a set, edited it, and submitted it on the 19th of July. It was approved for the Member Review queue yesterday.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I'm looking forward to hearing your feedback on my first set. A big Thank You to @missy and @rambo and all the other SG staff for accepting me and giving me a place to belong.
XOXO Gyidgette
