Who knows who I really am inside. When I'm like this because of my back I'm empty emo guy that nobody wants to be around because he's super depressing. I don't blame people. I completely understand, because I hate myself like this. When my back is good I literally feel unstoppable. I have tons of energy, my mood is always buoyant, when obstacles are encountered they don't even bother me, and etc. I just happen to have a real event that depressed me and that coincided with my back. So it's hard to find internal motivation to do my physical therapy exercises for my back. Once Im untwisted in my spine, this problem will be manageable. I'm actually slowly getting there. I'm able to have calmer rational thought now at least.
That right there probably defines me unless I can miraculously fix my back for good. Most people probably just chalk me up to being mentally ill, and I might be to a low to moderate extent, but these severe mood swings aren't part of that. Most people also can't hang with my dark side, only my real awesome personality. I appreciate the few that can still be around me when I'm Mr. Zero.