It has finally happened. I am going to be father in seven months. There are definately mixed emotions about it. My feelings seem to be influenced by the people around me. When I'm at work, I'm usually pissed off, but when I think about being a daddy, it makes me happy. When I see my dad, I feel kinda bad, like I totally let him down. When I see Paul and Dani, I'm totally stoked! When i talk to my sister (Marsha) I'm excited. When I'm with Susan, I'm right as rain. So, it's obvious where I like to be most of the time. With Susan, on monday night, over Paul's on the phone with Marsha. Everyone else just seems to be undecidely unexcited about the whole thing. The worse part was telling my mom. It hurt a lot that she didn't seem to care at all. I figured that she would say something worthwhile, but she seemed to care more about Hellsing. At least there support somewhere in my network. But I am definately worried about whether or not I'll be able to still live here for much longer. Obviously I don't want to, I'd rather have my family living with me. But it would be of greater benefit for me. Either way, I need to find a second job. I'm hoping that Best Buy gives me another call back, since they screwed up my first call back. If not, then I'll have to just put in another application. I'm gonna need lots of money to catch up on all my bills, and prepare for the babies arrival. Lukily seven months is a long time from now. I'm glad that Susan and I don't have the kind of relationship problems that people around us have. Because if you have them before you have a baby, they're only gonna get worse after you have the baby. And man, if you could see this shit. It's just rediculous. Well, wish me luck. I'll try and update more regularly, and keep posting pictures.
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Merry Christmas!!
xoxo
Sunshine