Today was a day of days. I have been aggravated all day and I have been spending much time by myself since I vacated my place of business (work sucks). Sometimes I feel as though I have the perfect woman, but then sometimes I feel as though I shoudn't be putting up with so much crap from her all the time. It's amazing how much patience I seem to have, especially since my friends claim that they wouldn't have put up with nearly as much crap as I have. We've been together for over a year now (almost 2), and I keep wishing that things will happen in my favor. But they don't seem as if they are going to. I know that sex isn't everything in a relationship... but I feel as though I have at least earned some kind of real explaination as to why I'm not getting it. Fuck, I haven't had sex in almost 2 years, and I think that it would be noce to have a straight answer as to why. I know that I have made myself a doormat in this relationship, but I wonder, how it got to this point, and is there any way to bring this back from near-the-brink? It's getting bad. There's still love there. No doubt about that, I just wish that there was less stupid bullshit in there too. I am constantly willing to do my best to make things work out, but she can't even seem to make the effort to call me most of the time. I hate the fact that in every single thing that goes on in our realtionship, she makes me come to her... mostly literally. I spend obscene amounts of money a wek going to see her near every day. I believe in the entire almost 2 years we've been seeing each other, I've driven to her almost every day, and she's come to me maybe 10 times (and that's a generous estimate). I never really minded it before. But stuff like that takes it's toll on you after a while. Just like when I'm with her, and we go somewhere, I always have to drive. Once again, I didn't mind it before, but it's just one of those things that wears you down after a while. I wish that I could talk to her about it more, and actually make some progress in doing so, but that is such a bother. She always finds a way to turn any argument into something about her. Before I was super supportive in all her problems and flaws, but I don't feel as though I can anymore, I'm starting to feel run down and torn. I feel like an old doormat out in the rain, that she's wiping her feet on all the time. I want to work things out so badly. I just wish I had help. 