This blog will mainly be about my past, so please bear with it. It may get a little long and explicit so i'll warn you now.
I haven't told a lot of people about my past and almost no one in my family knows about a good majority of it. I've trusted a select few of people enough to tell them some of it. Tonight though im not thinking on my past as a time that haunts me. A month before I turned 16 I was in a long distance relationship with the love of my life. At that time I had found out that she was pregnant with twins and she hid it from me before we got together because she thought it would drive me away before I even got to know her, but when she told me I nearly ended up in tears. Since I was 5 my one and only dream in the world was to be a father. I respected my father for everything he did for my family and wanted to be just like him. So when I got that news I was happier than I had ever been before. About a month passed and my gf at the time went to a check up and they did the ultra sound, but it came with a sad note. Our little boy aiden had cysts showing on his body. The doctors said amelia, his sister, was fine but in order to keep aiden from dangerous situations she had to take it easy and keep all stress away.
The following week the biological father of the twins' had found her at the hospital when she went back in for another check up. He forced his way into her room and barricaded the door and held her hostage. When that happened she dropped her phone and it happened to call me, when I answered I could hear echoes of pain and crying growing louder by the second. When I started screaming back in a panic the biological father grabbed the phone and asked me to pick who dies in that room. He said I could either keep the love of my life or keep the children, but either way he would kill one of them within the next few hours. Over the course of the next 6 hours I was frantically trying to calm him down while trying to reach out to my gf and contact the local authorities in her town. By the end as he was about to kill her a SWAT sniper managed to shoot him. When the police finally managed to break down the door my gf was in the corner laying in a pool of blood. The entire time he was on the phone with me he was cutting her with a carving knife over and over. She survived it all, but before she would let them treat her she called me and said get them to go search his car, he said he had plans for the person who was in it.
When the police searched his car they found his sister bound,gagged, and stabbed 43 times locked in his trunk. After 9 hours of surgery she pulled through. Due to all that happened the doctors examined the twins as soon as my gf was treated and saw that aiden had gotten worse. The cysts had both gained in size and numbers. 2 months later she went into premature labor and the doctors held her off as long as possible. I bought my plane ticket and started prepping for the trip when I got a phone call. My gf's friends called and told me not to come. They didn't want me to come because one of they friends they all shared didn't feel comfortable with me being there. So in the end convinced my gf that it was best for everyone that I wasn't there because we would have plenty of time together afterwards.
A few days later aiden was born and immediately taken away. He was born with cysts all over his organs and body and it began to shut everything down. The doctors told us he would only survive until the end of the week. Then Amelia was born and was perfectly healthy. My gf stayed at the hospital with aiden and sent amelia home with her sister. She never left his side even for a moment. He wouldn't smile and all he did was cry because of all the pain he was in. 2 days before he passed away I left a voicemail on my gf's phone to play for aiden since I couldn't be there by his side. When she played it to him he stopped crying and finally smiled. The first time he smiled was when he heard my voice. I was in tears. 2 days later at 5am on christmas morning I got a call that broke me in half. He passed away in his sleep while holding my gf's finger with a smile on his face. Apparently she replayed the voicemail I left over and over to him the night before he passed away and he didn't shed a tear.
The next day amelia was rushed to the ER with a high fever and cough. She had caught pneumonia and had a slight case of jaundice. 5 days later the doctors said she was going to recover just fine and that we didn't have to worry, but what the doctors didn't foretell was her taking a turn for the worse. She grew worse and worse and finally gave in. Within 7 days both my son and daughter had passed.
Before now I would think back about that day and be in tears. It would break my heart and I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But as I sit her tonight i'm not stricken with grief or sadness. I am not crippled and I am no longer a shell of a man. I can now look back at that short time I had them in my life and love it for the perfect time it truly was. In that short time I was changed into a better man. Those 2 tiny lives created something in me I thought was lost for good. I learned that in my short years on earth I have never loved myself or someone else as much as those two angels. To feel a wave of happiness flow over me just from saying their names. An unconditional,pure, and simple love I had never felt before. That feeling was lost to me for a while after they passed, but i've finally gotten it back.
I haven't told a lot of people about my past and almost no one in my family knows about a good majority of it. I've trusted a select few of people enough to tell them some of it. Tonight though im not thinking on my past as a time that haunts me. A month before I turned 16 I was in a long distance relationship with the love of my life. At that time I had found out that she was pregnant with twins and she hid it from me before we got together because she thought it would drive me away before I even got to know her, but when she told me I nearly ended up in tears. Since I was 5 my one and only dream in the world was to be a father. I respected my father for everything he did for my family and wanted to be just like him. So when I got that news I was happier than I had ever been before. About a month passed and my gf at the time went to a check up and they did the ultra sound, but it came with a sad note. Our little boy aiden had cysts showing on his body. The doctors said amelia, his sister, was fine but in order to keep aiden from dangerous situations she had to take it easy and keep all stress away.
The following week the biological father of the twins' had found her at the hospital when she went back in for another check up. He forced his way into her room and barricaded the door and held her hostage. When that happened she dropped her phone and it happened to call me, when I answered I could hear echoes of pain and crying growing louder by the second. When I started screaming back in a panic the biological father grabbed the phone and asked me to pick who dies in that room. He said I could either keep the love of my life or keep the children, but either way he would kill one of them within the next few hours. Over the course of the next 6 hours I was frantically trying to calm him down while trying to reach out to my gf and contact the local authorities in her town. By the end as he was about to kill her a SWAT sniper managed to shoot him. When the police finally managed to break down the door my gf was in the corner laying in a pool of blood. The entire time he was on the phone with me he was cutting her with a carving knife over and over. She survived it all, but before she would let them treat her she called me and said get them to go search his car, he said he had plans for the person who was in it.
When the police searched his car they found his sister bound,gagged, and stabbed 43 times locked in his trunk. After 9 hours of surgery she pulled through. Due to all that happened the doctors examined the twins as soon as my gf was treated and saw that aiden had gotten worse. The cysts had both gained in size and numbers. 2 months later she went into premature labor and the doctors held her off as long as possible. I bought my plane ticket and started prepping for the trip when I got a phone call. My gf's friends called and told me not to come. They didn't want me to come because one of they friends they all shared didn't feel comfortable with me being there. So in the end convinced my gf that it was best for everyone that I wasn't there because we would have plenty of time together afterwards.
A few days later aiden was born and immediately taken away. He was born with cysts all over his organs and body and it began to shut everything down. The doctors told us he would only survive until the end of the week. Then Amelia was born and was perfectly healthy. My gf stayed at the hospital with aiden and sent amelia home with her sister. She never left his side even for a moment. He wouldn't smile and all he did was cry because of all the pain he was in. 2 days before he passed away I left a voicemail on my gf's phone to play for aiden since I couldn't be there by his side. When she played it to him he stopped crying and finally smiled. The first time he smiled was when he heard my voice. I was in tears. 2 days later at 5am on christmas morning I got a call that broke me in half. He passed away in his sleep while holding my gf's finger with a smile on his face. Apparently she replayed the voicemail I left over and over to him the night before he passed away and he didn't shed a tear.
The next day amelia was rushed to the ER with a high fever and cough. She had caught pneumonia and had a slight case of jaundice. 5 days later the doctors said she was going to recover just fine and that we didn't have to worry, but what the doctors didn't foretell was her taking a turn for the worse. She grew worse and worse and finally gave in. Within 7 days both my son and daughter had passed.
Before now I would think back about that day and be in tears. It would break my heart and I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But as I sit her tonight i'm not stricken with grief or sadness. I am not crippled and I am no longer a shell of a man. I can now look back at that short time I had them in my life and love it for the perfect time it truly was. In that short time I was changed into a better man. Those 2 tiny lives created something in me I thought was lost for good. I learned that in my short years on earth I have never loved myself or someone else as much as those two angels. To feel a wave of happiness flow over me just from saying their names. An unconditional,pure, and simple love I had never felt before. That feeling was lost to me for a while after they passed, but i've finally gotten it back.
amirarayne:
That's a really sad story, made me cry. But at least you are a better man now.
munke:
I don't even know what to say...