Well, I TRIED to post this last night, but when I hit "Submit", the site decided to go down and I couldn't go back and type the long-ass reply... SOOOO as a result, I'm forced to do it all over again...and it may not be as much as I wanted to put, but I'll try...
Okay, a new question has come up... Just who is Jessica? You've heard of Jackie and Shari and Holly... But Jessica is new to most of you... It starts like this: My best bud in the universe is Clint... We've been best friends for well over 8 years now and have a very special bond. We can almost sense how the other feels and know almost exactly what they're thinking at any given time. Clint's cousin is named Felisha. I've known her almost as long as I've known Clint, mainly because they're very close and live down the street from eachother, and I'm buds with her boyfriend, so I chill with her quite a bit. Now, HER best friend in the universe is Jessica. They have the same link me and Clint have... Clint met Jessica and instantly realized "Hey, she'd be perfect for Tyler!" So, he went to work and set up a blind double-date... I went along with the whole thing, not expecting too much... The day of the date came and Clint brought his girlfriend over with Jessica following behind them in her car. I got out and finally laid eyes on her, and she is drop-dead gorgeous. I have a picture I'll put up sometime soon... Anyway, we clicked instantly and had the most fun on a date that I've ever had... We went to the local Mini-golf/Arcade type place and played putt putt and lazer tag and did the go-carts and all that good stuff... The thing I really loved is she actually treated it like a date... She stayed by my side, sat by me, walked at my pace... It was great... Clint had struck pay dirt. There was one snag, though... She was a Christian, but thats not the problem since I am too, though you can't tell with all the stuff I do hehe... Anyway, she had made sortof a New Years resolution and a commitment to God to go the whole year without dating anyone and focus her time on work and school, and since it was late March, she was just starting her little commitment thingie... Well, we had that great date and all, and I got her number and we went out several more times... Not really romantically, just as two people going out to do things together... Well, that can only last so long when theres mutual attraction, and before too long we were holding hands and cuddling and all that brand new girlfriend-boyfriend stuff... Clint and I graduated in May of 2002, and I went with his family to celebrate at our favorite Italian resturant...and Jessica tagged along. We had a great time, then all the "teens" took off in my car and we watched a movie at Clint's...Jessica and I shared a recliner... Anyway, it was time for her to go and I walked her out and we had our first kiss out by her car in the perfect spring weather... Was really great... From then on, we were joined at the hip, which was great because she and Clint's girlfriend at the time became good friends, then we could bring along Felisha and her boyfriend and just have a big ol' good time... nothing nasty, mind you, just chill... I've always loved hanging around with a group of close friends, but who doesn't really?
As time went by, Jessica and I grew closer and closer... I really began to see my life as a puzzle piece, and on one side Clint fit, and on the other side Jessica fit...I know that sounds weird, but I'm really tired right now... However, as I've said before, all good things must come to an end... Felisha's mom, who is one of the most devout Christians I've ever met, was always close to Jessica... and though she loved me like family, she reminded Jess that she did have a commitment to uphold... After months of bliss, we finally made a mutual agreement to break ties until the end of her first semester, when her commitment would be off and she wouldn't get flak from Felisha's mom... So, I was fine with that... It was for the best... However, we didn't stop seeing eachother right away.. The very next weekend, we spent almost the entire day laying in her bed cuddled up together, just being close... sleeping, talking, listening to the radio... Just a side note, I did wake up once to her kissing my hand and wispering "thank you" ...still not quite sure what that was about... 
Eventually, though, we did stop seeing eachother and talking to eachother on a regular basis... January approached and I expected her to be calling any time... But she didn't... So I called her... three times... No calls were returned... So, I gave up. This was about the time my life began to shatter before my eyes... I had lost the love of my life to who knows what, and my two best friends in the world, Clint and Jeff, both moved away within a week of eachother... Clint joined the Air Force and is currently training in Texas, and Jeff took a job in South Carolina which has proven to be a very very good move on his part... That aside, though, I was here alone... My friends were moving on to bigger and better things, and I was stuck in NC... making mediocre grades and sub-par money in small suburban town with not many job opportunites... Again, that aside, I didn't hear from Jessica and had given up all hope... Until right after the Jackie re-awakening, she walked into my store and had a nice long talk with me and invited me to her lake thing...which I've already told you about... 
Now, the question was: What is Jessica afraid of? From what Felisha has told me, Jessica *apparantly* has very strong feelings for me but is trying to hide them and push them aside because she doesn't want to hurt me and she's afraid of what she might do...meaning, she's a virgin and I seem to do something to her hormones that gives her a warm fuzzy feeling inside... Now, I'm a nice guy, and I would NEVER take her to that point until I was convinced she (and me for that matter...its been a while...
) was ready for it... But honestly, out of all the girls I've ever talked about in this spiffy little journal, she's the only one I can see myself marrying down the road and starting a family with... None of the others have the staying power that she does...I have to play this one right, because if I lose again, I may not get another chance... 
Okay, a new question has come up... Just who is Jessica? You've heard of Jackie and Shari and Holly... But Jessica is new to most of you... It starts like this: My best bud in the universe is Clint... We've been best friends for well over 8 years now and have a very special bond. We can almost sense how the other feels and know almost exactly what they're thinking at any given time. Clint's cousin is named Felisha. I've known her almost as long as I've known Clint, mainly because they're very close and live down the street from eachother, and I'm buds with her boyfriend, so I chill with her quite a bit. Now, HER best friend in the universe is Jessica. They have the same link me and Clint have... Clint met Jessica and instantly realized "Hey, she'd be perfect for Tyler!" So, he went to work and set up a blind double-date... I went along with the whole thing, not expecting too much... The day of the date came and Clint brought his girlfriend over with Jessica following behind them in her car. I got out and finally laid eyes on her, and she is drop-dead gorgeous. I have a picture I'll put up sometime soon... Anyway, we clicked instantly and had the most fun on a date that I've ever had... We went to the local Mini-golf/Arcade type place and played putt putt and lazer tag and did the go-carts and all that good stuff... The thing I really loved is she actually treated it like a date... She stayed by my side, sat by me, walked at my pace... It was great... Clint had struck pay dirt. There was one snag, though... She was a Christian, but thats not the problem since I am too, though you can't tell with all the stuff I do hehe... Anyway, she had made sortof a New Years resolution and a commitment to God to go the whole year without dating anyone and focus her time on work and school, and since it was late March, she was just starting her little commitment thingie... Well, we had that great date and all, and I got her number and we went out several more times... Not really romantically, just as two people going out to do things together... Well, that can only last so long when theres mutual attraction, and before too long we were holding hands and cuddling and all that brand new girlfriend-boyfriend stuff... Clint and I graduated in May of 2002, and I went with his family to celebrate at our favorite Italian resturant...and Jessica tagged along. We had a great time, then all the "teens" took off in my car and we watched a movie at Clint's...Jessica and I shared a recliner... Anyway, it was time for her to go and I walked her out and we had our first kiss out by her car in the perfect spring weather... Was really great... From then on, we were joined at the hip, which was great because she and Clint's girlfriend at the time became good friends, then we could bring along Felisha and her boyfriend and just have a big ol' good time... nothing nasty, mind you, just chill... I've always loved hanging around with a group of close friends, but who doesn't really?
As time went by, Jessica and I grew closer and closer... I really began to see my life as a puzzle piece, and on one side Clint fit, and on the other side Jessica fit...I know that sounds weird, but I'm really tired right now... However, as I've said before, all good things must come to an end... Felisha's mom, who is one of the most devout Christians I've ever met, was always close to Jessica... and though she loved me like family, she reminded Jess that she did have a commitment to uphold... After months of bliss, we finally made a mutual agreement to break ties until the end of her first semester, when her commitment would be off and she wouldn't get flak from Felisha's mom... So, I was fine with that... It was for the best... However, we didn't stop seeing eachother right away.. The very next weekend, we spent almost the entire day laying in her bed cuddled up together, just being close... sleeping, talking, listening to the radio... Just a side note, I did wake up once to her kissing my hand and wispering "thank you" ...still not quite sure what that was about... Eventually, though, we did stop seeing eachother and talking to eachother on a regular basis... January approached and I expected her to be calling any time... But she didn't... So I called her... three times... No calls were returned... So, I gave up. This was about the time my life began to shatter before my eyes... I had lost the love of my life to who knows what, and my two best friends in the world, Clint and Jeff, both moved away within a week of eachother... Clint joined the Air Force and is currently training in Texas, and Jeff took a job in South Carolina which has proven to be a very very good move on his part... That aside, though, I was here alone... My friends were moving on to bigger and better things, and I was stuck in NC... making mediocre grades and sub-par money in small suburban town with not many job opportunites... Again, that aside, I didn't hear from Jessica and had given up all hope... Until right after the Jackie re-awakening, she walked into my store and had a nice long talk with me and invited me to her lake thing...which I've already told you about...
Now, the question was: What is Jessica afraid of? From what Felisha has told me, Jessica *apparantly* has very strong feelings for me but is trying to hide them and push them aside because she doesn't want to hurt me and she's afraid of what she might do...meaning, she's a virgin and I seem to do something to her hormones that gives her a warm fuzzy feeling inside... Now, I'm a nice guy, and I would NEVER take her to that point until I was convinced she (and me for that matter...its been a while...
) was ready for it... But honestly, out of all the girls I've ever talked about in this spiffy little journal, she's the only one I can see myself marrying down the road and starting a family with... None of the others have the staying power that she does...I have to play this one right, because if I lose again, I may not get another chance... VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
*sigh* i don't mean to take pleasure in your confusion, but this did make my day.
i would say never get involved with religious girls cause for me its just problematic. but then again thats just me. i havent been checking journals for the last few days with all the comp trouble i've been having so im out of the loop on your love whoas. but if you feel this girl is the only one (at present at least) that you can picture in your future then i say play it like you would a stray cat.
EI: let it know you're there and that you are not going to hurt it. and if it comes to you just take things one step at a time. (thats how i got my neighbor's cat "nanny" to warm up to me)
she seems kewl enough for you though. maybe she's at conflicts with her values or something else of the like. i dont know. i try to keep my distance from religious girls so i have no idea how their minds work. but as for the never get another chance i doubt that will happen.
"there's always a bigger fish.", Qui Gon Jin