There was a dinner party at my house today. My family (mom, stepdad, and grandparents visiting from Chicago) were there along with 3 or 4 family friends annd their assorted kids.
I had a lot of good port and muscat wine to drink and everyone was feeling pretty buzzy. Somehow my dad coerced me into telling the following story.
I was seeing this girl in Vancouver for about 6 months. She was fantastic and we got along really well. The big downside to it was that she had JUST broken up with her ex who had moved to Ireland. I wasn't equipped at the time to deal with a girl who wanted to hang out but didn't want to get serious until she could sort out her feelings for her ex. Yadda yadda.
Long story short, we ended up having a lot of long stupid pointless useless fights. Finally after about a month of fighting almost non-stop we both sort of just looked at each other and decided it was time to cut it out. We didn't handle it very well though and ended up fighting some more.
After something klike 8 hours of bickering and sulking and pouting we were both pretty tired and bored of the whole thing. We were sitting there at an impasse not really wanting to talk because we knew it wasn't going to go anywhere.
Finally I decided I needed to do something, so I stood up, went to the bathroom and got a jar of vaseline. I took off all my clothes and walked back into the living room carrying the jar.
I dipped my finger in, got a nice big glob of vaseline turned around and proceeded to shove my finger up my ass.
"This," I said. "I would rather do this than fight with you anymore."
She turned bright red and I didn't know if she was going to hit me or what. She sat there not saying anything for about a full minute during which I realized I was standing there with my finger up my ass and as you may or may not know, this is a pretty compromising position.
Finally after all this silence, she just burts out laughing. She laughed so long and so hard I thought she was going to be sick.
She said. "That was very unexpected. Let's go get some dinner."
We got dressed, went to eat and ended up having a pretty nice time.
So yeah. I really enjoy the fact that I have a family who can appreciate and enjoy a story like that. One of my dad's friends started laughing so hard while I was telling the story that he fell out of his chair, and my grandpa snorted beer through his nose.
What a hoot.
I had a lot of good port and muscat wine to drink and everyone was feeling pretty buzzy. Somehow my dad coerced me into telling the following story.
I was seeing this girl in Vancouver for about 6 months. She was fantastic and we got along really well. The big downside to it was that she had JUST broken up with her ex who had moved to Ireland. I wasn't equipped at the time to deal with a girl who wanted to hang out but didn't want to get serious until she could sort out her feelings for her ex. Yadda yadda.
Long story short, we ended up having a lot of long stupid pointless useless fights. Finally after about a month of fighting almost non-stop we both sort of just looked at each other and decided it was time to cut it out. We didn't handle it very well though and ended up fighting some more.
After something klike 8 hours of bickering and sulking and pouting we were both pretty tired and bored of the whole thing. We were sitting there at an impasse not really wanting to talk because we knew it wasn't going to go anywhere.
Finally I decided I needed to do something, so I stood up, went to the bathroom and got a jar of vaseline. I took off all my clothes and walked back into the living room carrying the jar.
I dipped my finger in, got a nice big glob of vaseline turned around and proceeded to shove my finger up my ass.
"This," I said. "I would rather do this than fight with you anymore."
She turned bright red and I didn't know if she was going to hit me or what. She sat there not saying anything for about a full minute during which I realized I was standing there with my finger up my ass and as you may or may not know, this is a pretty compromising position.
Finally after all this silence, she just burts out laughing. She laughed so long and so hard I thought she was going to be sick.
She said. "That was very unexpected. Let's go get some dinner."
We got dressed, went to eat and ended up having a pretty nice time.
So yeah. I really enjoy the fact that I have a family who can appreciate and enjoy a story like that. One of my dad's friends started laughing so hard while I was telling the story that he fell out of his chair, and my grandpa snorted beer through his nose.
What a hoot.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Grundle.
YES! I lost my bird head off the tip, and a few from the spokes. The woman who made it keeps saying she'll send me replacements...it's been years.