It's funny. I can feel my mental health declining steadily every day. I don't really feel like I can talk to anyone about how I actually feel for fear of giving them listener's fatigue. The new brewery I'm working on is progressing but there's literally nothing I can do to make any of the trades guys work faster. I'm beholden to them in a way that makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
I had started with a new therapist before all of this went down, but the sessions had to be postponed indefinitely. I suggested online therapy, but was told it wasn't an option with their office because there was no way to ensure patient confidentiality and security.
My beer recipe book has become a source of depression for me because every time I write something I'm struck with the realization that I may not ever get to make the beers I'm designing and if I do, no one will like them because they're not Hazy IPAs. When I dug through old boxes to find my beer books, I came across nothing but reminders of my relationship with my ex-wife and that sent me down a spiral.
And then I come on here and write things and it all sounds so whiny and self-indulgent that I want to punch my own stupid face.
I feel fucking crushed.
