...???
er, okay, so the thing is, i well, boy, you know it's been a while since i have been back to this site again, but i don't even know if anyone i know iis still on this site so--well i figure i am talking t opeople who have all been previously relatively unaware of my existence so i don't know i suppose i don't need to explain anything do i? iam whoever i happen to be at this given moment oh, okay okay i remember now...suffice it to say, anyway, things have again been a little rough around the edges lately, but they seem to be working itself out again in some sort of way that has just happend to feel a little intense and a bit *ouch*
on the upside, i am probably gonna do much better this somester then i thought i was- i totally felt like i was gonna flail all over the place, but things in that area are working out. been surprised at how much i like psychology, i guess i am pretty prone to the self-diagnosis mentality that comes with it. i am pretty sure i have penis envy. well, very sure actually, i have since i can remember. i remember asking my mom when i was around 4, at the race track where my dad took the family on sundays, if i could have a sex change. by that time i had realised that i was never going to actually grow one like the boys at school. but i knew that i was supposed to have been a boy. oh, i've got all sorts of shit according to my textbook,i'm sure you do too. gender idintity disorder, attention deficit disorder, social anxiety/general anxiety disorder, major depression or maybe perhaps dysthemic disorder, it goes on. i think i need more gabba rays. sweet, sweeet gabba.
tomorrow i am going to the pride parade, i think it will be good to get out of the house and be amongst where the wild things are. i have been pretty bummed out for the past few whiles, but i think i am starting to feel like iam comming out of it. hopefully, for now, we'll see. one day atatime and that sort of thing. i will come back again much sooner i think because i am not so messed up with school and i am feeling overall much less existentially challenged than i have been. rite now i feel like i am writing too much again. good nite, fellow freudian wet dreams***





on the upside, i am probably gonna do much better this somester then i thought i was- i totally felt like i was gonna flail all over the place, but things in that area are working out. been surprised at how much i like psychology, i guess i am pretty prone to the self-diagnosis mentality that comes with it. i am pretty sure i have penis envy. well, very sure actually, i have since i can remember. i remember asking my mom when i was around 4, at the race track where my dad took the family on sundays, if i could have a sex change. by that time i had realised that i was never going to actually grow one like the boys at school. but i knew that i was supposed to have been a boy. oh, i've got all sorts of shit according to my textbook,i'm sure you do too. gender idintity disorder, attention deficit disorder, social anxiety/general anxiety disorder, major depression or maybe perhaps dysthemic disorder, it goes on. i think i need more gabba rays. sweet, sweeet gabba.

tomorrow i am going to the pride parade, i think it will be good to get out of the house and be amongst where the wild things are. i have been pretty bummed out for the past few whiles, but i think i am starting to feel like iam comming out of it. hopefully, for now, we'll see. one day atatime and that sort of thing. i will come back again much sooner i think because i am not so messed up with school and i am feeling overall much less existentially challenged than i have been. rite now i feel like i am writing too much again. good nite, fellow freudian wet dreams***

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