If only I could tell her how I really feel and how I felt. Its not simple and it must be handled carefully. Somedays, it feels as though I'm carrying a bomb and I don't have the confidence to keep holding on. I keep pushing myself towards an edge that I'm not so familiar with. I don't know the limits and I don't know the consequences. Its all been answered for me though. She's the reason I like shyness, she's the reason I love blonde hair, she's the reason I love shoulder lenght blonde hair, and she's the reason I love squinty eyes. Well put. My efforts though mean nothing. I mean nothing to her and she's meant so much to me. If only I could go back and tell her, if only I could tell her that she's the only regret I have in life. I regret not attempting to win her affection. I regret not trying to even befriend her. I want this to be over with. I want this to end.