For those who sent me some good vibes over my first post, thank you very much. It isn't easy to keep going with some of the duress and pain I usually have to deal with, but fnever in my life I thought that the psychological pain would be as hard as it is now. I mean, I've had my days and nights fighting my demons and fears, and had some anxiety crisis lately, but some meditation and (sorry for that girls) some fuck off attitude have helped.
I've started (or at least tried to) to learn German again, and some French and Spanish as well, and tried to keep a balance with my daily routine and my upcoming tests to became a certified SCRUM MASTER.
And why, some of you would ask, why I'm going through such a deep hardcore learning path like this, with all the bullshit that;s going on with me? Am I insane? Well, maybe all of us are, but the truth is, I like learning, stduying and getting knowledge and expanding my mind. Einstein said that a mind that learns will never get to it's old size and I believe it.
Since the pandemics, I've learned a lot about algorithms, programming logic, webdevelopment, software engineering, finished a Master's Degree in Physics, got some old cases running (I am still a lawyer in Brazil), and so on.
The only things I'm not trying right now due to the pains in my arms are playing my drums and drawing. I was thinking about drawing some of my muses form the site, but first, the therapy, than, with good hands I'll draw.
And that crap keeps my mind busy, the demons away and the pains under control. I didn't used to understand people that have suffered with depression or anxiety, but now I do and would liek to apologyze to them. I had no idea of how overwhelming it could be.
But in the eye of the storm I have found my silver lining. My 5 year old son. It's amazing to see a piece of me getting stronger and smarter by the day, and surprising me every single day. Although I'm affraid he may have inherited my migraines, he also shares my IQ and my concerns with other people. I try to teach him that every living creature deserves respect and care, doesn't matter if it's a man, a woman, or an animal.
Once someone asked me if I was going to teach him how to respect persons that identify themselves with a different gender or with none at all and I said no. Because I'm raising thim to respect everybody. Doesn't have to matter to him what that person chosen to be or feel. What matters is if that person needs help, care, a hug or a friend. I'm teaching him to spread the best of his heart and seeing that he is learning that also helps me to get better.
Sorry for my digression, but I have a small problem with prolixity. And again, sorry for any mistakes.
Be in light and peace my dears, hope you all feel and get well.