Agatha Raps
Fratricide, patricide, homicide
You provide
Throughout our varied history
The source for thrills and mystery
Who did it?
Who hid it?
Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum
Exactly when did you become
These homicidal lunatics
Quarry for the private "dicks"
Who run in rings around the "coppers"
Whose lacking brains are sure show stoppers?
Don't look now- a second body!
(Doesn't matter, not a hottie...)
Looks like the amanuensis
Saw something he'd best to miss
Prussic acid in his tea...?
Who am I to disagree?
He's dull and surely poorly written-
The ingenue has got me smitten.
It would be the best of plans
To put some sleuthing in her hands!
She can scope the iffy relation
Whose guilt would cause no consternation
(He's a bad boy, but misunderstood
and she can change him for the good.)
But this romance is just a side show-
Chapter twelve and still we don't know
That the victim's brother's mother's daughter
Heard something that's no doubt taught her
Don't hint of what or who you know
Oops... strychnine in her escargot.
Now in quite rapid succession
The toll takes on a grim progression:
Butler falling down the stairs,
The lawyer smothers- no one cares,
The crazy aunt will get a cosh,
Best "friend"? More poison in his nosh.
Neighbor, killer simply shoots
Maid? Toaster in bath electrocutes!
The long lost cousin gets a knife:
Hatchet for his long lost ex-wife.
The bad boy gets anthrax, as does too
That pesky, pesky ingenue.
The detectives do not even scream
When someone shoves them in the stream....
Last one sinking like a stone
And here I'm left, now quite alone.
It was almost over before I'd begun it...
Murder I wrote? Like hell- I done it.
Fratricide, patricide, homicide
You provide
Throughout our varied history
The source for thrills and mystery
Who did it?
Who hid it?
Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum
Exactly when did you become
These homicidal lunatics
Quarry for the private "dicks"
Who run in rings around the "coppers"
Whose lacking brains are sure show stoppers?
Don't look now- a second body!
(Doesn't matter, not a hottie...)
Looks like the amanuensis
Saw something he'd best to miss
Prussic acid in his tea...?
Who am I to disagree?
He's dull and surely poorly written-
The ingenue has got me smitten.
It would be the best of plans
To put some sleuthing in her hands!
She can scope the iffy relation
Whose guilt would cause no consternation
(He's a bad boy, but misunderstood
and she can change him for the good.)
But this romance is just a side show-
Chapter twelve and still we don't know
That the victim's brother's mother's daughter
Heard something that's no doubt taught her
Don't hint of what or who you know
Oops... strychnine in her escargot.
Now in quite rapid succession
The toll takes on a grim progression:
Butler falling down the stairs,
The lawyer smothers- no one cares,
The crazy aunt will get a cosh,
Best "friend"? More poison in his nosh.
Neighbor, killer simply shoots
Maid? Toaster in bath electrocutes!
The long lost cousin gets a knife:
Hatchet for his long lost ex-wife.
The bad boy gets anthrax, as does too
That pesky, pesky ingenue.
The detectives do not even scream
When someone shoves them in the stream....
Last one sinking like a stone
And here I'm left, now quite alone.
It was almost over before I'd begun it...
Murder I wrote? Like hell- I done it.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
capote:
Thank you so much.
catdad:
This is the site to which my vet directed me: calcitriol