Candid snippets from Grayce Email responces:
Yep, the kids are my menagery of little animals each of whom have a peice of my heart.. they are wonderful. i was just trying to get the gliders up a second ago... but they want to sleep in tonight... no interest in hanging out with mom....pfft! i cant blame them.. i sleep in too so i dont ever get to put them to bed anymore... unless i have class in the morning.
lets see... i also have two cats.. charlie and cypress...i had three but my prince Necro was sleighed by an evil vehicle....oh i do miss him.... that lil kitty held most of my heart. he would sleep by my neck every night and wake me up in the morning and sometiems if i was lucky he would crawl under my sheets and spoon with me right by my tummy and just put his head on my pillow.
he really was the coolest cat ever.. he had some serious attitude too..when i brought his sister cypress home to be his play mate cause Charlie is getting old... he wouldnt come sleep with me for a week... then in the next two or three weeks he got used to it and would just beat her up and kick her out of the bed..silly boy. then i let them all out to play like i usually do and always have done and necro didnt come back. a neighbor found him for me and then she was kind enough to let me cry on her shoulder... literally. shes a sweet old lady and now she has a puppy whos just a lil fuzz ball.
yep necro rocked... he would run outside and across the yard and lunge at the trees...i swear if that cat had front claws he would have never come down. yep...he was my little feline god...and he knew it too!
in response to a whole paragraph and story.. :
you just told me the story i was saving to tell you...Forbidden love...a story and plot i know so well...
the guy i wanted to be with and really thought could have been a wonderful husband, companion, etc.. is my x's best friend.. and i still talk to my x who is my best friend..and thats part of the reason why the past two years has been difficult on our friendship.
jeff knew i liked him...i cared about the kid a lot but i know now that he could never be what i need....(OH! were back to that changing people thing again hua? tehehe)...and from jeff i get to hear about all the wonderful people hes fucking and crap like that... and how the guy's x who wants to kill me was going to marry him .blah blah..somewhere in here is where the guy and i stopped talking because it was becoming pretty clear (this is before i found out about him asking her to marry him) that he just wanted to fuck me.
he wouldnt call me back ..couldnt do what he said he would do etc.. not to mention would talk about how he never wanted to date me and just wanted to fuck me to the guys at his shop where jeff works... and how he fucked jeff's other x that had just broken up with him in jeffs basement while he was home.... oh hes done a lot of nasty things... and thats why now it coudl never be... ..because hes such a fucking prick.
secretly sometimes i still fantasise about the first time he pushed me up against a wall in his apt and kissed me..
how we would be all sneaky (or so we thought) and hold hands when we all went out as a group... . he would put his hand behind the chair and i would just hold it....i thought the other people in the car could hear my heart beating...
how he snuck over to my apt and would just lie (no pun intended here) in bed with me and hold me and let me listen to his heart...... and all the times we would talk on the phone for hours in the middle of the night, knowing their was so much naughty stuff eachother wanted to say and do but instead of saying it we would just talk about our childhoods and he would tell me the most fun stories about himself growing up...and his first kisses.. and crazy places he's had sex...
he would say some of the sweetest things..and he could be quite supportive and understanding....too bad it was all lies. he just wanted to fuck me....my friends wonder why i fell for him so hard..they never saw it..or heard anything i heard...i think the crappiest part about the whole thing is how quickly and easily he could disregard me.....
which really shows me that all he wanted to do was manipulate me and use me as a fuck buddy.
"Talking with her was like a drug, we said nothing and it felt meaningful.." half the time we never had to say anything either. i know their was something... i just have no idea what happened to it. agh! it fuckin hurt! i hope no one has to go through anything like this with this guy.
a guy called me jaded today...for telling him i had sworn off boys..i dont want that again...because every time i like someone or something like that i just get used or manipulated. id just rather be alone.
yep. thats that story!
--end of email....
i got the kids a second cage today! for hella cheap.. im fuckin excited.
i built two of the three fish tanks i got! and i started testing the waters on all the tanks to make sure everyone is happy and healthy.. its neat. (wow im a big fuckin dork)
im still copying my entire cd collection back onto this puter...argh! it makes me mad.. but now at least it will be in the same format...
ive gotta take my puter to the Nerd Patrol guys.. (yes thats their company name lol) i gotta get some USB ports updated and fixed, check the HDrive cause something is shorting out again not letting me run my 5 programs at once that id like to be running... it cant even keep up with my typing anymore. wtf .. i know this puter can handle it.
its just got a cold. i think im going to have the guys install my ipod stuff too so it dosent fuck up anymore. that way i dont have to mess with it.
uhhhh i guess thats really it right now. turkey day was great cept ill never have another turkey day at their house again.. my mom and her man are breaking up i think... too bad too cause his sons were wonderful people. his whole family was great. ill really miss them.
i think tomorrow ill get up and give this place the once over and straighten up everything... then .. uh... do my genetics project? ...we'll see.
PS: i cleaned out my friends list again.. if you were taken off dont get mad just request again.. im a freak i clean house often.. hehe
Dont mistake this journal for me being depressed. I'm happy as a clam! =) no seriously.. im good.
Yep, the kids are my menagery of little animals each of whom have a peice of my heart.. they are wonderful. i was just trying to get the gliders up a second ago... but they want to sleep in tonight... no interest in hanging out with mom....pfft! i cant blame them.. i sleep in too so i dont ever get to put them to bed anymore... unless i have class in the morning.
lets see... i also have two cats.. charlie and cypress...i had three but my prince Necro was sleighed by an evil vehicle....oh i do miss him.... that lil kitty held most of my heart. he would sleep by my neck every night and wake me up in the morning and sometiems if i was lucky he would crawl under my sheets and spoon with me right by my tummy and just put his head on my pillow.
he really was the coolest cat ever.. he had some serious attitude too..when i brought his sister cypress home to be his play mate cause Charlie is getting old... he wouldnt come sleep with me for a week... then in the next two or three weeks he got used to it and would just beat her up and kick her out of the bed..silly boy. then i let them all out to play like i usually do and always have done and necro didnt come back. a neighbor found him for me and then she was kind enough to let me cry on her shoulder... literally. shes a sweet old lady and now she has a puppy whos just a lil fuzz ball.
yep necro rocked... he would run outside and across the yard and lunge at the trees...i swear if that cat had front claws he would have never come down. yep...he was my little feline god...and he knew it too!
in response to a whole paragraph and story.. :
you just told me the story i was saving to tell you...Forbidden love...a story and plot i know so well...
the guy i wanted to be with and really thought could have been a wonderful husband, companion, etc.. is my x's best friend.. and i still talk to my x who is my best friend..and thats part of the reason why the past two years has been difficult on our friendship.
jeff knew i liked him...i cared about the kid a lot but i know now that he could never be what i need....(OH! were back to that changing people thing again hua? tehehe)...and from jeff i get to hear about all the wonderful people hes fucking and crap like that... and how the guy's x who wants to kill me was going to marry him .blah blah..somewhere in here is where the guy and i stopped talking because it was becoming pretty clear (this is before i found out about him asking her to marry him) that he just wanted to fuck me.
he wouldnt call me back ..couldnt do what he said he would do etc.. not to mention would talk about how he never wanted to date me and just wanted to fuck me to the guys at his shop where jeff works... and how he fucked jeff's other x that had just broken up with him in jeffs basement while he was home.... oh hes done a lot of nasty things... and thats why now it coudl never be... ..because hes such a fucking prick.
secretly sometimes i still fantasise about the first time he pushed me up against a wall in his apt and kissed me..
how we would be all sneaky (or so we thought) and hold hands when we all went out as a group... . he would put his hand behind the chair and i would just hold it....i thought the other people in the car could hear my heart beating...
how he snuck over to my apt and would just lie (no pun intended here) in bed with me and hold me and let me listen to his heart...... and all the times we would talk on the phone for hours in the middle of the night, knowing their was so much naughty stuff eachother wanted to say and do but instead of saying it we would just talk about our childhoods and he would tell me the most fun stories about himself growing up...and his first kisses.. and crazy places he's had sex...
he would say some of the sweetest things..and he could be quite supportive and understanding....too bad it was all lies. he just wanted to fuck me....my friends wonder why i fell for him so hard..they never saw it..or heard anything i heard...i think the crappiest part about the whole thing is how quickly and easily he could disregard me.....
which really shows me that all he wanted to do was manipulate me and use me as a fuck buddy.
"Talking with her was like a drug, we said nothing and it felt meaningful.." half the time we never had to say anything either. i know their was something... i just have no idea what happened to it. agh! it fuckin hurt! i hope no one has to go through anything like this with this guy.
a guy called me jaded today...for telling him i had sworn off boys..i dont want that again...because every time i like someone or something like that i just get used or manipulated. id just rather be alone.
yep. thats that story!
--end of email....
i got the kids a second cage today! for hella cheap.. im fuckin excited.
i built two of the three fish tanks i got! and i started testing the waters on all the tanks to make sure everyone is happy and healthy.. its neat. (wow im a big fuckin dork)
im still copying my entire cd collection back onto this puter...argh! it makes me mad.. but now at least it will be in the same format...
ive gotta take my puter to the Nerd Patrol guys.. (yes thats their company name lol) i gotta get some USB ports updated and fixed, check the HDrive cause something is shorting out again not letting me run my 5 programs at once that id like to be running... it cant even keep up with my typing anymore. wtf .. i know this puter can handle it.
its just got a cold. i think im going to have the guys install my ipod stuff too so it dosent fuck up anymore. that way i dont have to mess with it.
uhhhh i guess thats really it right now. turkey day was great cept ill never have another turkey day at their house again.. my mom and her man are breaking up i think... too bad too cause his sons were wonderful people. his whole family was great. ill really miss them.
i think tomorrow ill get up and give this place the once over and straighten up everything... then .. uh... do my genetics project? ...we'll see.
PS: i cleaned out my friends list again.. if you were taken off dont get mad just request again.. im a freak i clean house often.. hehe
Dont mistake this journal for me being depressed. I'm happy as a clam! =) no seriously.. im good.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
il_brutto:
why would you want lil' ol' me in ohio? 
Besides, you'd like Cali much better than I would like Ohio.
Besides, you'd like Cali much better than I would like Ohio.
pyrate:
longest journal entry ever,......I miss you 