I spend so much time vacillating between the positivism of almost knowing and utter confusion, that sometimes I wonder if maybe the world at large is right, and I am so terribly wrong.
When the self ceases to make sense, who do you turn to for direction? Who do you seek advice from?
When you spend your days on the edge while your heart softly whispers, One step forward into all that is better!, but your brain screams back at you, No. That path leads to only desolation!, whom do you listen to?
In the end, Im left mind numbed and boggled. And this is almost how my entire 2008 has felt...something that feels like a cross between the moment before you rip off the bandage and the moment before you open a gift. All full of angst and anticipation at the same time.
And the best I can tell myself is that 2009 has got to be an infinite sight better than 2008...right?
And the positive me, my inner optimist, the one who wins these little battles time and again, says, it has to get good, it has to get better. There is bliss for me. For you. For all.
There is in fact, JOY.
So I bid goodbye to 2008, knowing there are large portions of it I would never deign to relive. And I face forward into the new year, and like Henry on the mound, say proudly to all of the me contained in me, sword upraised, Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!.
Happy new year to you. A happy and blessed 2009. May you find your bliss. Your joy.
I know Ill be actively seeking mine.
When the self ceases to make sense, who do you turn to for direction? Who do you seek advice from?
When you spend your days on the edge while your heart softly whispers, One step forward into all that is better!, but your brain screams back at you, No. That path leads to only desolation!, whom do you listen to?
In the end, Im left mind numbed and boggled. And this is almost how my entire 2008 has felt...something that feels like a cross between the moment before you rip off the bandage and the moment before you open a gift. All full of angst and anticipation at the same time.
And the best I can tell myself is that 2009 has got to be an infinite sight better than 2008...right?
And the positive me, my inner optimist, the one who wins these little battles time and again, says, it has to get good, it has to get better. There is bliss for me. For you. For all.
There is in fact, JOY.
So I bid goodbye to 2008, knowing there are large portions of it I would never deign to relive. And I face forward into the new year, and like Henry on the mound, say proudly to all of the me contained in me, sword upraised, Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!.
Happy new year to you. A happy and blessed 2009. May you find your bliss. Your joy.
I know Ill be actively seeking mine.