grahamfacekillah

So I was bored out of my brain today... Sounds like a story you have heard before...right. Sounds like my mundane existance in a constant loop. I moved all my shit out of my house because I couldn't live in a filthy zoo anymore. Seriously there were fucking 9 birds (2 load ass parrots), a pitbull, a fucking ferret, 3 rats and random other vermin that weren't technically pets. No AC and shitty 100+ fucking weather equals a sweat pit that puts out noxious fumes. I tried smoking a blunt to fill the air with a pungent aroma, but to no avail. How can a house stink worse than a phillie and not have a bunch of degenerates living in it?? HOW I ASK, HOW! Packed all my shit in my cadillac and said "fuck that shit!" I had no lease and my Xroommate made me leave if the landloard might come over. I call bullshit. SO now I am kinda homeless, but in better shape than a shit-hole, I guess.
Now for you gourmet lovers, here comes "Graham's Drunken Vegetarian Cuisine"

RECEIPE FOR BEST VEGETARIAN WRAP EVER:
I used a spinach wrap, but a tortilla should work fine
shredded provolone and parmesan cheese
thin sliced white onion
lettuce and green salad mix w/red cabbage
feta cheese
sun-dried tomato w/basil vinagerette dressing

DIRECTIONS:
Heat wrap in you microwave with shredded cheese spread thin for 35 seconds. (you could use a stove, but I'm a little drunk)
Add lettuce and white onion (tomatoes if so desired)
crumble feta cheese on top and add a spash of your favorite vinagerette.
Wrap like a burrito and inhale.

THIS IS A VEGGIE LOVERS DREAM. Sorry vegans, I can't live without cheese, as of now anyways.

(extra note) Randomness, but when was the latest reality trend to show how to inseminate a freakin' horse. I swear they showed a close-up of a mare's vag with a lady elbow deep in horse-tang. I didn't need a step-by-step instruction video. Maybe I'm just drunk, but geez