The pirate life has done wonders to my image, except that i have aged so quickly from the life on the sea, last night my penis fell off, damn lepers, anyway, scabes isn't something to fuck around with, you should see my boiled ass! Ah how the life of a pirate be full of bliss and burden. Well now, tired be the says i and now i must sail the seven seas in seach of Nessie and booty, argh argh!
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-TM