gothicelvis

THIS IS BULLSHIT, i think god intentionally invented love so that he could play a cruel joke on all of us. The only people i see that arn't effected by it are delusional or lonely, so you got two choices as i see it, be sad, or a liar. Well, i am so FUCKING sick of being sad that it hurts, and as for being a liar, well, what do you have in this world if you dont have your word, its the only thing you have from birth to death, unless you abuse it. I fucking give up on this shit, its like planting a flower in miracle grow, giving it sun and water and talking to it and nurturing the plant, and it DIES, why bother any more, there are plenty of other ways to just make it through life... make it through life... oh here comes the ramblings.

Make it through life i say, why, why make it through life, because you are tired, your old, what else can it be. To live is to feel, but in that there is an inherent risk of pain, pleasure must be met with pain, as everything in life comes with balance, so no matter how good life gets, you know it is going to get bad to componsate. Now you can mask this, create a neurosis in your life that allows you to ignore or hide the pain you feel, but it is there, and will eat you. Pain is a measurment, like happiness, of how much one is living, so if i can stop pain, and stop pleasure, i will die. Whether or not i continue to walk the earth is insignificant for i am not living, i am making it through life...

FUCK I WANT SOME DAMN DRUGS, STUPID ARMY AND THERE PISS TEST, GIVE ME SOME PERSCRIPTIONS FOR ANYTHING

a labotomy would be nice, a morphine drip maybe, a come for a few months, let time slip, the world just go on with out me, and when i have rested i can just come back to it and see how much more has fucked up despite my efforts other wise

F U C K !