So im working on everything my shrink says I should- I hope I keep driking less and looking out for myeslf more. Geee I hope I dont become selfesh- but word is I have a long ways to go before that happens. The line between interupting your life to help a sibling or in my case also mother and not interupting to help is so hard to find. I have set limits on times, I have given advise, I just cant give any more without repeating msyelf. I think my mom may be suicidal. She has mentioned it in the past although she said she wouldnt . Aside from that she drinks and drives too much even when times are good. But theres nothing I can do> i ask her to bre responsible, I ask her to take cabs or call a friend- have even given her friends numbers. I cant do more than that. My brother might have MS. At the minimum he has a damn fine concussion. My parents thought he was on drugs. I todl them he wasnt- they mugged him to taking them to the dr and true enough he isnst. I think Brian and I are on the same page, he calls to talk but not to ask anythjing of me other than talk. He asks some advise about prescription drugs he is on (legally prescibed) and ideas for other meds that are less heavy duty....he has a bad bad knee.... We get along good. he asks me real life stuff and if i tell him what I feel he tries to work with it and go from there. My dad and I have issues but I think we are cool. Its just my mom. My grandma is slowly dieing but she knows it and handles it and I love her. We talk, she helps me drink less by telling me how things were when she drank a lot. My mom fucks with me saying I shouldnt worry my grandma but really, the things my grandma tells me about drinking dig deep and help me more than anyone else can- perhaps my shrink helps most but aside from that my grandma, infrequent that we talk is there for me. She booozed it up like i have never done when she was in her mid sixties and now shes clean. She helps. Love you grandma. Love you.
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I wish you luck with all of it.
In response to your comment, Im glad spring has gotten to you. Its beautiful. Luckily it has been here (off and on) for a few weeks. Everything is soft and colorful, making everything seem just that much more beautiful.