I kinda think this all started with women's rights... which I'm totally for by the way.
In the past men would open the door for us, bring us flowers, court and such. They were the providers and we were the cleaners. I can understand how vacuuming in high heels would suck and be totally boring. But now-a-days we are the one's getting careers and the majority of men are at home playing video games getting high. Do I like a nice J, well hell yeah!
The other day I was pumping gas and held the door open for a man in his mid 20's which is, hello, how old I am. He made this comment like "shouldn't I be doing this for you?" as he strode past me... "welcome to the new age, bitch" was my response.
I think the problem is, the more and more independent we strive to be, the less they feel they need to be. Or the more confused they are. "What am I suppose to do with this woman that doesn't even seem to need a man?!?"
Truth is, as a strong successful woman, I don't NEED a man. But that's a good thing. I don't want to NEED a man. I want to WANT a man. It doesn't have to be a competition with who makes more money, who has the better position. What we want is someone who TRIES. Someone who has ambition and wants to SUCCEED in life.
Problem too is how friendly we are with our pussies, true or not? We are the men in women's skin when it comes to sex. I know what I want and I want it now. No bullshit. But with the no bullshit, does that come with no effort. If men get what they want with hardly any effort, why make the extra effort right? So do they then become the women if we become the men?
My friend was telling me that men have a way higher percentage of dropping out of high school, and middle school then women. Middle school! Now, don't get me wrong here. I know tons of guys that are super hard working and trying to go to school and be awesome at life. But especially in small towns they are few and far between. So I'm just wondering, what happened? 0.o
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Okay here's my opinion on gender roles, in American society, these days. Now I was raised entirely by women. Old school women. And they all but beat into me that I should have the utmost respect for women, no matter the situation. That meant opening doors, carrying whatever to wherever, being polite, all the chivalrous things you would see in a medieval knights tale. But, that also instilled in me a very strong sense of independence and personal responsibility. That means that everything should be 50/50 as it relates to how you deal with the opposite sex. I shouldn't have to show anymore respect than is given to me. And I shouldn't have to open anymore doors (neither literally or figuratively) than have been opened for me. Nobody deserves to get a free ride, is the point of what I'm saying, here.
So as I've gotten older and have observed how gender roles are beginning to change, and even reverse in some areas, I find it increasingly more difficult to be the type of gentlemen I was in the past. I think the comedian Dave Chappelle said it best when he said that chivalry is dead, because women have killed it. It's hard for me to be a respectful man when I can't say or do anything without today's modern woman getting offended by my every statement or attempt to provide assistance. Not saying all women are like that, but a lot are. And finding one who isn't determined to wear the pants in the house, has become more like trying to find a needle, in a stack of feminist needles.
And at the same time, I've also noticed that a lot of women are trying to have it both ways, nowadays. They want to be CEO of the company, or head foreman on the job site. Yet they still expect men to do all their heavy lifting and dirty work. Not cool. Seems like to me that these women aren't looking to get the same respect and recognition as a man. They just wanna get paid the same or more, for doing less work. Saw a lot of that while I was in the military...
It's like what do you want? You can't expect me to be a 1940's man, if you don't want to be a 1940's woman. If we're both out trying to rule the world, then who's gonna be at home to raise the kids? Somebodies has to want to stay home and put on the apron. I wouldn't ask my woman to be my butler. But again, I was raised old school. Which means I had three home cooked meals every single day,when I came home, without fail. So you can call me a sexiest pig all you want. But if you can't cook, then you can't stay. And that brings me to my point that, as others have said in the blog, it all comes down to how you were raised. And if you want to carry those values and beliefs with you into your relationships with men, or vice versa.
So to make a really long story short, women have every right to want to be top dogs. And be seen as equals in society. Just don't use it as a megaphone to thumb your nose at the men who haven't been able to achieve as much as you have. Because then you're doing the same thing that was done to your gender, for so many years. Only this time, the oppressed won't be able to protest our oppressors. Because we're men. And we aren't suppose to complain...
"If you were the only fire person in the house you have to be as strong and capable as a man, if you want a man's job."
I really liked that he said that looking back. He's been an iron worker for most of his life and he wotld come home and bitch because some "Betty" (as he calls em) wants to play tough man but then has to have all her stuff carried up!
Now I guess I would be the exception, not the rule, which is why I started this subject in the first place. I kind of mirror the situation... if someone wanted me to stay at home with the kiddos and cook, I would! Because I have enough hobbies to occupy my time regardless so I would never be bored. But on the other hand if I was dating a bum, I would go out and be the bread winner to do what I had too.
My dad raised me very well. He would say, "Look at how these silly women act. I don't want you to be like that..." and even though I was a girl he made me, on occasion, split wood, and fill sand bags in the rain, ect. I was the only daughter that at the end of the day didn't cry because of it. I wanted to show my dad that I was strong!
In a sense because of that, it's hard for me to accept help at times. Like the other day I'm at Home Depot and this attractive man says, "Finding everything you need?" I said "yep it's all right here
But then, I put it back and said, "Hey, you are a wonderfully taller man, could you please grab the big roll for me?" and he was happy to do so! I guess with out battle of the sexes sometimes we just have to swallow our pride and remember ultimately, we are here to COMPLIMENT each other, not challenge each other. And I realize that we are both at fault with how we are now-a-days but when we have these conversations it kind of gives us ideas on how to work on it, which ultimately is what we strive to do. Better ourselves, correct?