goodcore

I'm really hard on myself in general. It seems that has transfered to others. I'm not sure I like how that works. I'm certainly saying more of what I think but at the same time I feel like a total asshole ragging on other people all the time. It feels so ingrained I don't even know how to stop.

I do a good job of being nonchalant about most things. However, once things start to matter I can't help but get butterflies and worry about stuff. I want to be able to be nonchalant about anything but it so not in me and that drives me crazy. I don't want to be apathetic necessarily though. As I'm writing this though, I'm thinking, you know its probably pretty impossible to completely control how you feel and when you feel it. Sucks.