oh fuck it. just fuck it. just when i think things are going well i find out things and i hear things and all of a sudden i have to think about things i don't know how to think about. i don't know what i'm doing, the clarity i thought i had was a desert mirage, and wham my head is spinning tumble tumble. blow wind thoughts away. blow wind mind away. trying so hard to soar on a breeze a butterfly would fall through.
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*tucks phaedra into her coat so they're both protected from the wind*