I quit my job today
I'm thrilled that I NEVER have to go to that unappreciative shithole again
Top 10 useful things I DID learn from this job:
1.don't fuck with old ladies and their money...or their little dogs.
2.old men like it when you smile at them for an extra 4 seconds longer than you normally would.
3.when your boss has a British accent-make sure not to jokingly use one when you forget he does.
4.only get your nose pierced while employed at a bank when the loan officer already has one. then they can't say shit. for all they know, you can be fuckin hindu. psshh hell ya i'm down with shakti & vishnu.
5.always offer up little plastic covers for checkbooks & bank books-old people love all their shit quarantined. (ever notice how grandma's couch is covered in something like saran wrap & your skin sticks to it when you try and get up ?)
6.when counting $35,000 in cash in the vault-don't drop that shit on the floor...if you thought 52 card pick up was bad, you're in for a treat. O yah-and it's not your money.
7.safety deposit boxes are like clown cars...old people manage to fit everything in a 3x5, 2 ft long box.
8.When they offer up a free coffee run to Starbucks-make sure to order the most expensive latte of your life. Hell-the bank is named World Savings...they can afford your fucking 4.39 fancy ass latte. Oh and don't tell them that when you go there alone you get everything free ,because you tell them how shitty your job at the bank is & wink at baristas.
9.as painfully boring as it may be-don't drift off while continuously quoting interest rates over the phone...one day you just might say out loud one of your daydreams. "so that's 5.32 interest rate 5.36 APY and goddamn I SO would've loved threesome jacuzziing with ali & the singer from Heartwell. Anything else mam?" =o
10.when you finally quit because you realize that banking is shit that requires you to be an uncreative, drone-like, Amish dressing, telemarketing asshole that yourself would be annoyed by...try not to smile in front of your boss.
and p.s.-don't stay anywhere you're unhappy as long as I did. What a loss to them-I know what I'm worth. They didn't like me from the beginning because I'm nowhere near being as boring as a business economics major. hahaa
Ah, this entry gave me closure because I realize...I won't miss shit about this job but the money. And as of me posting this-my ass is all over monster.com
I'd gladly make a few bucks less an hour & be happy and MYSELF than make more and be fucking miserable
I'm thrilled that I NEVER have to go to that unappreciative shithole again
Top 10 useful things I DID learn from this job:
1.don't fuck with old ladies and their money...or their little dogs.
2.old men like it when you smile at them for an extra 4 seconds longer than you normally would.
3.when your boss has a British accent-make sure not to jokingly use one when you forget he does.
4.only get your nose pierced while employed at a bank when the loan officer already has one. then they can't say shit. for all they know, you can be fuckin hindu. psshh hell ya i'm down with shakti & vishnu.
5.always offer up little plastic covers for checkbooks & bank books-old people love all their shit quarantined. (ever notice how grandma's couch is covered in something like saran wrap & your skin sticks to it when you try and get up ?)
6.when counting $35,000 in cash in the vault-don't drop that shit on the floor...if you thought 52 card pick up was bad, you're in for a treat. O yah-and it's not your money.
7.safety deposit boxes are like clown cars...old people manage to fit everything in a 3x5, 2 ft long box.
8.When they offer up a free coffee run to Starbucks-make sure to order the most expensive latte of your life. Hell-the bank is named World Savings...they can afford your fucking 4.39 fancy ass latte. Oh and don't tell them that when you go there alone you get everything free ,because you tell them how shitty your job at the bank is & wink at baristas.
9.as painfully boring as it may be-don't drift off while continuously quoting interest rates over the phone...one day you just might say out loud one of your daydreams. "so that's 5.32 interest rate 5.36 APY and goddamn I SO would've loved threesome jacuzziing with ali & the singer from Heartwell. Anything else mam?" =o
10.when you finally quit because you realize that banking is shit that requires you to be an uncreative, drone-like, Amish dressing, telemarketing asshole that yourself would be annoyed by...try not to smile in front of your boss.
and p.s.-don't stay anywhere you're unhappy as long as I did. What a loss to them-I know what I'm worth. They didn't like me from the beginning because I'm nowhere near being as boring as a business economics major. hahaa
Ah, this entry gave me closure because I realize...I won't miss shit about this job but the money. And as of me posting this-my ass is all over monster.com
I'd gladly make a few bucks less an hour & be happy and MYSELF than make more and be fucking miserable
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
And you look completely angelic by the way
i used to work at a bank for lots of money.
leaving it is still one of the best decisions i've ever made.