glamerdork

wrestling in pudding.

apparently, she seems to have a little fantasy(?) along that concept...

but you know, it would always help to talk to her first.

I have a boyfriend.

But... sometimes he pisses me off. I guess that's the case for every relationship. I just honestly feel like my love will never be good enough for him. What I have to offer isn't what he needs. He needs lots of attention, lots of reassurance... he needs to be called every day so that he knows I care. I'm too busy with school, too busy with trying to figure out how to organize my shit-hole of a room.. to busy wasting time thinking about her...

and, yes, I feel guilty about this. I used to really HATE bisexual women who would be dating a man but then sleep around w/ women... and say that was okay. Well, I still dont' think it's okay, but now I definitely understand why. It's just sometimes you miss a woman's touch... it's different... it's not gentler always... it's just more understanding. There is more warmth, more passion, more beauty---

and then there is wrestling in pudding.

I must get drunk at this dinner/party sunday night so I can talk to her. I just want to have a conversation with her... even though right now I think she might think i'm the most annoying person on earth.

I'm not so sure though... sometimes I totally get those "I want you" vibes. I might be imagining things... seems like I'm good at this whole wild imagination concept. But... I've been right before when I thought people were "watching/wanting" me... just because I'm very observant... and I can sense the difference in the air- the tension- between two people who like each other. It's easier when I'm involved in the equasion because I'm already sure about one side.

I honestly think she is the most beautiful person in the world. She's probably not what many of you would consider beautiful in the terms of this sites models, but she far surpasses their beauty in ways that are unexplainable. She's just the most geniune person- I don't necc. believe in souls, but if I did I'd say that her soul was nearly angelic. Not perfect, by any means, but she seems to be the type of person who can succeed at making everyone happy, while still being herself.

I guess I'm envious.

I guess I wonder if she's really up for pudding wrestling.

I guess I'm hoping I'll get to talk to her, before she goes off with her traveling theatre company and never comes back...