...I've also decided to apply to Americorps-- I think it would be a great way to spend a year and really help a community (then feel good about myself and a little less worthless). The only thing is that as an Americorps member you make $1000 a month for full-time work. Living in the bay area, that doesn't cover much. I've been reading that most Americorps members get food stamps when they serve. I'm not sure if I'd qualify because I have a good amount of money in savings, but I really don't want to spend all my savings trying to survive while working--indirectly--for the government. But at least they provide healthcare, so I guess that's worth something. Still, it kind of freaks me out to think of signing up for foodstamps. And again, I'm not even sure if I'd qualify. I bet I could find housing for $700 in a not-so-nice area of Oakland with five or so roommates, but that still leaves transportation and food. $300 a month would I guess be enough... I just wouldn't have any money to do much else with. Maybe I'd at least loose weight or something. Hmm.
I really don't know what I'm doing next year and I want to know asap. I understand that I'm not going to be making much money, if any, but I would prefer not to loose any as the year progresses. I'd take that BR internship in a heartbeat if I was offered it, but I know the chances of that are slim to none. So... I guess I just have to keep applying for all of these random jobs. Americorps shouldn't be too hard to get into. The program I'm looking at specifically wants people with web design, film editing and graphic design experience... well, I at least know web design and I can fake it when it comes to graphics. I know a bit about film editing too... and can fake that as well. I'd be working in west oakland, not quite sure how I'd get there... or where I'd live. But I imagine I at least have a decent chance of getting a position with them. Again, working for less than minimum wage. Getting food stamps.
*sigh* It's not like I want to make a ridiculous amount of money. I'd probably feel guilty if I did. But I'd like to live in a decent neighborhood in a clean apartment and be able to eat three meals a day. And maybe even go to the movies once in a blue moon.
It is going to be absolutely ridiculous when I move to the bay area-- if i'm still dating you know who-- and he's really making in the mid 100,000's and i'm making 10,000 a year. How can two people with incomes as drastically diffrent as that date? At least if I was working @ the BR I'd have housing and a stipend-- it would still be living on a tight budget, but it would be worth it. The training I would get there, esp in the graphic design department would be worth much more than I'd be getting paid. But doing Americorps-- well it would be really great to do. Not so much in terms of training, but in terms of something I should do. Give to the community. I'm such a spoiled brat, it would be really helpful for shaping myself to dedicate a year to service. But... after that, then what? I'll have depleated my savings... or at least some of it... do I go to grad school just because I have a $4700 education award from Americorps then, or do I move home because I'm poor and am unable to get a job?
I don't think this whole freaking out thing is all too ridiculous. m doesn't get it. He went to Yale and got a job paying in the upper 5 digits right out of college. Then he went to law school and now, well, he's basically getting paid a salary more than I'll make in 10 years. Not that I hold it against him or anything-- he's a smart guy who has worked very hard for a long time, and he's also 5 and a half years older than me now, so of course he's going to be better off financially than I am. But I'm also facing jobs right now, that at most will pay me $15,000 a year- and those are the entry-level reporter jobs in the middle of nowhere, which might be my best bet. Sure I can move to the-middle-of-nowhere in Christian-land and be miserable day after day, but be able to afford a small studio apartment and food and still put some money in savings. But then I know the relationship is over, and besides that I'll also be living somewhere where I know absolutely no body and where I don't really fit into the culture. Is that the smartest thing to do right now? I'm trying to think in terms of long term goals, because although they say that people change careers a few times throughout their lives, I'm not about to live in poverty in order to provide myself with experience that won't eventually lead to a job I actually want. That might not be a terrible thing to do wrong once, but eventually I'm just going to get frustrated with myself and more depressed than I ever thought I could be.
I just want to know I have a job next year. That's all. I want a job and a place to live. I want to get started on my adult life and figure it all out one day at a time.
But I have no control over who will hire me. I might eventually figure out how to do decent at an interview, but still, it's always up to chance.
Man, I wish I was religious. Right now, I could use a little faith in my life.
I really don't know what I'm doing next year and I want to know asap. I understand that I'm not going to be making much money, if any, but I would prefer not to loose any as the year progresses. I'd take that BR internship in a heartbeat if I was offered it, but I know the chances of that are slim to none. So... I guess I just have to keep applying for all of these random jobs. Americorps shouldn't be too hard to get into. The program I'm looking at specifically wants people with web design, film editing and graphic design experience... well, I at least know web design and I can fake it when it comes to graphics. I know a bit about film editing too... and can fake that as well. I'd be working in west oakland, not quite sure how I'd get there... or where I'd live. But I imagine I at least have a decent chance of getting a position with them. Again, working for less than minimum wage. Getting food stamps.
*sigh* It's not like I want to make a ridiculous amount of money. I'd probably feel guilty if I did. But I'd like to live in a decent neighborhood in a clean apartment and be able to eat three meals a day. And maybe even go to the movies once in a blue moon.
It is going to be absolutely ridiculous when I move to the bay area-- if i'm still dating you know who-- and he's really making in the mid 100,000's and i'm making 10,000 a year. How can two people with incomes as drastically diffrent as that date? At least if I was working @ the BR I'd have housing and a stipend-- it would still be living on a tight budget, but it would be worth it. The training I would get there, esp in the graphic design department would be worth much more than I'd be getting paid. But doing Americorps-- well it would be really great to do. Not so much in terms of training, but in terms of something I should do. Give to the community. I'm such a spoiled brat, it would be really helpful for shaping myself to dedicate a year to service. But... after that, then what? I'll have depleated my savings... or at least some of it... do I go to grad school just because I have a $4700 education award from Americorps then, or do I move home because I'm poor and am unable to get a job?
I don't think this whole freaking out thing is all too ridiculous. m doesn't get it. He went to Yale and got a job paying in the upper 5 digits right out of college. Then he went to law school and now, well, he's basically getting paid a salary more than I'll make in 10 years. Not that I hold it against him or anything-- he's a smart guy who has worked very hard for a long time, and he's also 5 and a half years older than me now, so of course he's going to be better off financially than I am. But I'm also facing jobs right now, that at most will pay me $15,000 a year- and those are the entry-level reporter jobs in the middle of nowhere, which might be my best bet. Sure I can move to the-middle-of-nowhere in Christian-land and be miserable day after day, but be able to afford a small studio apartment and food and still put some money in savings. But then I know the relationship is over, and besides that I'll also be living somewhere where I know absolutely no body and where I don't really fit into the culture. Is that the smartest thing to do right now? I'm trying to think in terms of long term goals, because although they say that people change careers a few times throughout their lives, I'm not about to live in poverty in order to provide myself with experience that won't eventually lead to a job I actually want. That might not be a terrible thing to do wrong once, but eventually I'm just going to get frustrated with myself and more depressed than I ever thought I could be.
I just want to know I have a job next year. That's all. I want a job and a place to live. I want to get started on my adult life and figure it all out one day at a time.
But I have no control over who will hire me. I might eventually figure out how to do decent at an interview, but still, it's always up to chance.
Man, I wish I was religious. Right now, I could use a little faith in my life.
I think this entry proves otherwise
You got to help yourself before you can help others. I think you could do a lot more good if you got the best job you could....and then used your extra money and time for the good things
Anyway....putting aside my opinion of your BF