glamerdork

First things first. (Because as you'll see, there will be plenty of "last things last.")

I'm a senior Theatre Studies major at _____ University, possibly with a double minor in two equally useless fields- sociology and fine art. As for "experience," I have very little- I've worked as a website designer for the makeup department at my school, but honestly only know basic HTML and can make something look decent on dreamweaver given enough trial and error.

I'm also currently interning for two respected journalists who happen to operate a news/documentary office at my university. Other than that, I've done a variety of other "experience-y" things, like writing for the school paper (as a theatre critic and community reporter), volunteering (service trips and currently starting volunteering in an elementary school a few hours a week, but no major volunteer experience yet), have assistant directed, assistant designed and performed in a few shows throughout college, and basically took lots and lots of classes because

I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.

While as a freshman this is considered acceptable, as as senior it is not, and I've unfortunately worked backwards. Enrolling in a conservatory style program as a costume design major, I hoped to have my future career nailed down from the start. However, after confirming that I could not sew a straight line (even if held at gunpoint), I was the first to admit that costume design was not the career for me.

I switched my major to Theatre Studies because I thought- hey, maybe I want to direct. Then I got interested in theatre criticism, but the idea of making a living out of criticing artistic work makes me sick to my stomach. In the meanwhile I discovered sociology and found that much of what I have been interested in all along revolved around sociological ideas.

But it was really too late at that point to change my major again, so I decided to start minoring in soc. And all along I threw in a random art class because I enjoy drawing/painting as a hobby, but acknowledge the job prospects is art are even more dismal than in the theatre.

Alas, I somehow managed to land myself an internship with two renowned journalists, and am doing my best to attempt being a "good intern" - whatever that is. These two "renowned journalists" know a lot of people, of course, but unless I somehow figure out how to be the star intern for the rest of the year, I doubt they're going to be interested in passing my name around to their "friends."

And with all that said, I'm not even sure I want to go into journalism. I'm afraid of leaving the theatre and art completely, but part of me wants a "real profession."

However, with a not-so wonderful GPA of a 3.13, it most certainly is too late to do any serious improvements to my GPA or, well, switch majors once I figure out exactly what I want to do with my life.

Since just being motivated and enthusiastic with a college degree gets you a lot of empty rejections (from what I've heard from current job hunters, many of which have much more impressive GPA's, universities and majors to list on their resumes), how on earth is someone like me ever going to find a job? I'm starting to think that going to college in the first place was a worthless investment. Sure, I had the opportunity to grow up a bit, but I've also been so terribly sheltered these past four years. Wouldn't I have been better off spending the four years learning the "real world," and working my way up in some sort of career?

I do not want a job that will make me unhappy. I want a job where I can help people, or at least feel like the work I'm doing is important. But I'm also scared that I won't be good at my job, regardless of what I end up doing, so I'm half tempted not to try. But at this point I can't "not try" because although I've been lucky in the sense that I was raised in an upper-middle class family and had my parents support me through college, it's coming upon the moment when I'm actually going to have to be independent and support myself. This is thrilling, really, to finally be able to not feel guilty about being a spoiled brat and being able to pay my bills and figure out how much money I should allocate to food spending and rent and all of that--

What is so frustrating is the feeling that I'm not going to be able to get a job. And then worrying that the only job I can get is one I don't like. Should I stop being such an idealist and just acknowledge that I will probably end up with a job I dislike somewhat and that I will have to learn how to deal with that or should I keep my nieve dreams of happiness- at least for the time being?

I've thought about becoming a psychologist, but the idea of taking people's money to help them when they're not mentally stable doesn't really work well with my ethics. I'd probably do well in religious work-- too bad I don't believe in God...

I just want a job that is exciting, but not too exciting, one that has stability, but that's never completely predictable or routine, one that has a casual enough work enviornment where jokes are appreciated, but formal enough that everyone takes their jobs seriously and believes in what they're doing and why they must do it-- a job that helps people in large numbers, but is acknowledged one person at a time-- a job where I can afford a relatively "normal" lifestyle (a one-bedroom apartment, food (healthy food, not fast-food), a semi-regular social life, and general contentment- perhaps some travel.

Anyway, as you can see there isn't one real specific question in this thread as there are a million and two, but really any advice you might be able to provide me would be much appreciated.

-hazel

ps: oh, and I want to move to san francisco in June to begin my job search, because the whole situation isn't difficult enough as it is.