I am THROUGH with online dating (people I've already met do not qualify for this statement)
My dating resume seems to have "met online" in bulletpoints after ever guy or girl I've dated (casually or seriously) in the past two-and-a-half years.
While online dating has it's place in society, specifically - older - society, I've had enough of meeting folks online for the sake of dating.
Sure, I've met some really great people. I had a temporarily successful two-year-long LTR, thanks to craigslist. But, in the end, I think a lot of why it failed is because we met online. In the back of our minds, we could never forgive ourselves for not being socially inept, and not able to forge such relationships in out of our daily "real" lives. Afterall, neither one of us were reclusive hermits, we just had troubles meeting people for romantic-type relationships. And neither one of us could get over the fact that the internet brought us together. Well, I accepted it, I think he felt that he could certainly pluck from the many other females in this world, in real life, online or elsewhere, and find someone better. Afterall, there are many, many, many fishes in the sea.
But here's the problem with online dating...
My favorite part of a relationship is that key period when two people develop a friendship. It's this phase, long or short, where they laugh and act nice to each other without some underlying objective to get the other person naked. Maybe in the way back of their minds, they each acknowledge they are attracted to this "friend," but it's not a spoken of attraction. It might be communciated through an accidentally long glance across the room at a party, or a shared silence after a joke was made about the two dating ("ha, wouldn't that be funny?") but it's never taken with a serious connotation.
A relationship is something that develops over time. While there isn't one way a relationship should be, I see it as climbing up this long hill that's less steep and more long on the incline, and at first the climbers have to help each other figure out what hiking & climbing gear to buy for the trip.
The ideal relationship is one where both partners keep climbing, although eventually can't take the sexual tension so they rip off their climbing gear, throw each other down in the grass and intimacy ensues. But the intimacy is this natural portion of the climb. And when the two lovebirds reach the top of the mountain, hand in hand, they see another hill off in the distance leading to a higher point and still want to climb. They'll stop for each other on the way if one needs a break, they'll hike at a slow or fast pace, as instincts see fit. But it's about that long climb, together -
It's not - plop them down somewhere in the middle of the mountain with the wrong gear, or no gear, and say - you have about two days/weeks to walk up this mountain, mostly alone, and then you're going to fuck each other.
And then you will tumble back down the mountain and start all over again. Alone.
That's not the way I want to have a relationship. I don't want to be climbing five different mountains at one time. It's exhausting.
This is why I say there are plenty of really wonderful people who are looking online for dates. But it's just no way to begin a relationship. Not when one is 20-something and has so many years to climb up that hill... there is no reason to take a helicopter up for a blind date in the middle of the emotional wildnerness.
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ps: I am naked somewhere on this site. I won't tell you where. It's a game, go find my titties.
My dating resume seems to have "met online" in bulletpoints after ever guy or girl I've dated (casually or seriously) in the past two-and-a-half years.
While online dating has it's place in society, specifically - older - society, I've had enough of meeting folks online for the sake of dating.
Sure, I've met some really great people. I had a temporarily successful two-year-long LTR, thanks to craigslist. But, in the end, I think a lot of why it failed is because we met online. In the back of our minds, we could never forgive ourselves for not being socially inept, and not able to forge such relationships in out of our daily "real" lives. Afterall, neither one of us were reclusive hermits, we just had troubles meeting people for romantic-type relationships. And neither one of us could get over the fact that the internet brought us together. Well, I accepted it, I think he felt that he could certainly pluck from the many other females in this world, in real life, online or elsewhere, and find someone better. Afterall, there are many, many, many fishes in the sea.
But here's the problem with online dating...
My favorite part of a relationship is that key period when two people develop a friendship. It's this phase, long or short, where they laugh and act nice to each other without some underlying objective to get the other person naked. Maybe in the way back of their minds, they each acknowledge they are attracted to this "friend," but it's not a spoken of attraction. It might be communciated through an accidentally long glance across the room at a party, or a shared silence after a joke was made about the two dating ("ha, wouldn't that be funny?") but it's never taken with a serious connotation.
A relationship is something that develops over time. While there isn't one way a relationship should be, I see it as climbing up this long hill that's less steep and more long on the incline, and at first the climbers have to help each other figure out what hiking & climbing gear to buy for the trip.
The ideal relationship is one where both partners keep climbing, although eventually can't take the sexual tension so they rip off their climbing gear, throw each other down in the grass and intimacy ensues. But the intimacy is this natural portion of the climb. And when the two lovebirds reach the top of the mountain, hand in hand, they see another hill off in the distance leading to a higher point and still want to climb. They'll stop for each other on the way if one needs a break, they'll hike at a slow or fast pace, as instincts see fit. But it's about that long climb, together -
It's not - plop them down somewhere in the middle of the mountain with the wrong gear, or no gear, and say - you have about two days/weeks to walk up this mountain, mostly alone, and then you're going to fuck each other.
And then you will tumble back down the mountain and start all over again. Alone.
That's not the way I want to have a relationship. I don't want to be climbing five different mountains at one time. It's exhausting.
This is why I say there are plenty of really wonderful people who are looking online for dates. But it's just no way to begin a relationship. Not when one is 20-something and has so many years to climb up that hill... there is no reason to take a helicopter up for a blind date in the middle of the emotional wildnerness.
---
ps: I am naked somewhere on this site. I won't tell you where. It's a game, go find my titties.
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
I would like to find your tittiies! Will try and look.