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glamerdork

born in Jersey, college in Chicago.

Member Since 2002

Followers 284 Following 90

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Friday Nov 11, 2005

Nov 11, 2005
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it is amazing how life seems to dissappear once one has gotten through the first 21 years. In 12 days, I will be 22 years old. Now, 21 didn't feel different than any other year- but 22 makes me sound like some sort an adult. I don't know how I feel about that.

Living in Berkeley is really special sometimes. My favorite activity as of late is biking to and from work up the bike path street running north/south. These precious 30-minute intervals of travel are the only times during the day when I feel like I actually own my life. At work, I sit behind a computer all day and function as the missing gear in this giant non-profit machine. At home, I attempt to grasp my limited free time, but for the most part it ends up being filled with sleep. But those few minutes each day I spend biking- they are all mine, fully awake, I own each and every second.

Still, this does not leave me happy. I'm just trying to figure out what I should do... in the next couple of weeks... in the next few years. I have so many interests and its the quantity of my interests that gets me into trouble. If I had found one thing that I truely loved and poured my heart and soul into it throughout college, i'd be a lot better off career-wise right now. But instead I took 300 credits and never stopped to really focus on anything. -- Now I'm longing to go back to school, but am afraid of taking out loans for any further education until I'm 100% sure it's investing in something I will enjoy spending most of the rest of my life doing.

I'm considering a few different graduate tracks-- maybe I'll get an MA in Drama Therapy. Maybe I'll go back to school for a post-bacc certif. in painting/drawing so that I can get an MFA in fine art. Or maybe I'll somehow study film... even though I don't have any of the prereq's yet. Maybe I'll go to school for journalism... because I need to learn how to be a better writer before I can get a job doing it. Or maybe I'll wait a few years and apply for that MFA in directing (theatre) that I've always wanted. But that seems too far off and I'm impatient. -- I wish I went to art school. At the time, it seemed like a bad option- what kind of job would I get with a degree in art? Now I realize this was actually a stupid question to ask when I didn't have an answer. I would have gotten a job I actually at least half liked-- not some job in marketing that I basically hate. -- If I had to work in graphic design for a living, even if it was in the marketing field-- it would at least be more fullfilling than what i'm doing now. Eh...

blackeyed
mei:
ah, yes, i love biking too. i started about a year ago.. i love longer rides, though i don't have time for them anymore. but commuting - every sense full of the world.

i did go to grad school. i live in pittsburgh now. i got fully funded in a phd program. i read for a living for the next six years. in a lot of ways, it's heaven. i don't know how i got this lucky.
Nov 11, 2005

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