* I loved her then, i guess i love her now, hers is the face i see when a certain mood moves in...*
I should've saved my money to go home this weekend rather than spending it all having fun yesterday. It's filthy and murky here and I'm sure it's not just the weather. The whole place seems stricken by some hideous cloak. i have this urgent craving to be with people I love, but they're either too far away or too occupied with their own crises, or simply share the age old problem of not having enough money for us to move within each other's spheres.
Dyslexic Disco was quite empty but nevertheless fun. I did my usual party trick of scoping out 'every man in there', which made me quite conspicuous as it was a bit of a reverse wartime situation with an excess of men to women. Nevermind though, I still didn't find any exemplary men..there was a delicious dreaded guy, but that's not exemplary. I'm not sure what is. I've not been heavily struck by someone in so long, I think i miss it.
I've also learnt this week I need to let people have space to 'fall off the radar' as it were. And that their doing so is nothing personal. I'm still struggling with aspects of this. Perhaps it's an inferiority complex thing?
Oh, and I did a quiz and i'm a 'gender outlaw'; this confirms that my imaginary bounty hunting partnership with Stee was almost on the right tracks for my future career.
If any sugar daddies/mummies want to take me out this weekend, you're welcome. I need fun.
I'm trying to think of things that I'm looking forward to but my work/social life/money worries are too great. Also, i'm concerned the chronic fatigue syndrome i had after glandular fever might be kicking up again. Because i had it so badly, my doctor said it's highly likely it's never going to go away, more resurfacing when i'm especially down/stressed/tired/generally under the weather. I have been exhausted recently, everything feels like such an effort. And it doesn't help feeling, or being made to feel guilty for that.
We just had some people to look at the house- they left after seeing the living room, didn't even make it upstairs. They just can't take our debonair chic, it permeates the house in a carefree, bohemian manner. What's wrong with pringles on the floor, I ask you ladies and gentlemen?
I'm going to go and think about Communism and Germany now. Wish me luck
xox
I should've saved my money to go home this weekend rather than spending it all having fun yesterday. It's filthy and murky here and I'm sure it's not just the weather. The whole place seems stricken by some hideous cloak. i have this urgent craving to be with people I love, but they're either too far away or too occupied with their own crises, or simply share the age old problem of not having enough money for us to move within each other's spheres.
Dyslexic Disco was quite empty but nevertheless fun. I did my usual party trick of scoping out 'every man in there', which made me quite conspicuous as it was a bit of a reverse wartime situation with an excess of men to women. Nevermind though, I still didn't find any exemplary men..there was a delicious dreaded guy, but that's not exemplary. I'm not sure what is. I've not been heavily struck by someone in so long, I think i miss it.
I've also learnt this week I need to let people have space to 'fall off the radar' as it were. And that their doing so is nothing personal. I'm still struggling with aspects of this. Perhaps it's an inferiority complex thing?
Oh, and I did a quiz and i'm a 'gender outlaw'; this confirms that my imaginary bounty hunting partnership with Stee was almost on the right tracks for my future career.
If any sugar daddies/mummies want to take me out this weekend, you're welcome. I need fun.
I'm trying to think of things that I'm looking forward to but my work/social life/money worries are too great. Also, i'm concerned the chronic fatigue syndrome i had after glandular fever might be kicking up again. Because i had it so badly, my doctor said it's highly likely it's never going to go away, more resurfacing when i'm especially down/stressed/tired/generally under the weather. I have been exhausted recently, everything feels like such an effort. And it doesn't help feeling, or being made to feel guilty for that.
We just had some people to look at the house- they left after seeing the living room, didn't even make it upstairs. They just can't take our debonair chic, it permeates the house in a carefree, bohemian manner. What's wrong with pringles on the floor, I ask you ladies and gentlemen?
I'm going to go and think about Communism and Germany now. Wish me luck
xox
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