Okay all, here's what I read for them tonight:
Do NOT Adjust Your Television Set...
This Queer History class IS being presented in Black and White.
No, don't try to mess with your color dials. I know you thought a group as marginalized as the queer community would be able to recognize the incredible atrocity that is America's binary racial scheme, but it turns out you were wrong. According to the highly intelligent gay gurus in charge of designing this course, the history for queer individuals who are neither black nor white does not exist. To that effect, there is no need to film this class in Technicolor... the old black-and-white method will do. In fact, here is a diverse list of people who, according to this class, implicitly do not exist in the Queer Community:
-Latinos and Latinas
-Asians
-Native Americans
-Arabs
-Africans
-Pacific Islanders
-South-East Asians/Indians
-People of Mixed Decent
-Bisexual People of all Races and Classes
-Transgender Individuals
If you somehow fit into these categories... well, you obviously cannot, or there would be writings about you for this class. Also, don't forget, in traditional black-and-white 1950s programming style, if you are a lesbian (ie. woman), you best sit in the back of the room, remain silent, and let the gay white men tell you what's best for you. If you are a black lesbian, you had better be poor. If not, we will not want to listen to your struggles, because you will have been said to have not struggled enough.
If you would like more colorful programming, the creators of this Queer History class urge you to stop pursuing Queer History altogether and head to your nearest urban gay club. If this does not satisfy you, you are welcome to do historical research about gay people "of color" on your own, but do not bring your findings back to class, this is a waste of time, they will be ignored.
We hope that the presentation of this class has not caused you any discomfort, irritation, anger, rage, pain, disappointment, or sadness. However if it has, we don't really care.
If this black-and-white presentation has provided too much hue for you and has created the OPPOSITE reaction (that of discontent over not having pure-white class programming), we invite you to set your television to Showtime on Sundays at 10 PM EST to watch the hot, new, all-white casted, completely normal depiction of daily gay life known as Queer as Folk.
Thank you for listening to this explanation of our programming. All concerns can be written and delivered to our trashcan, all complaints can be directed to deaf ears, and all compliments can be submitted via official letterhead documentation or by engraved plaque to be displayed prominently on our office wall.
...We now return you to our regularly scheduled black-and-white programming...
Oh yeah, more of my stuff (not all, cuz I code and put stuff up at total random) can be found at The Discount Poetry Bin
OH YEAH, and can I just mention that THORA is so fucking hott that I don't even know how to handle myself right now?!
Yeah.
Cheers!
-Git-
Do NOT Adjust Your Television Set...
This Queer History class IS being presented in Black and White.
No, don't try to mess with your color dials. I know you thought a group as marginalized as the queer community would be able to recognize the incredible atrocity that is America's binary racial scheme, but it turns out you were wrong. According to the highly intelligent gay gurus in charge of designing this course, the history for queer individuals who are neither black nor white does not exist. To that effect, there is no need to film this class in Technicolor... the old black-and-white method will do. In fact, here is a diverse list of people who, according to this class, implicitly do not exist in the Queer Community:
-Latinos and Latinas
-Asians
-Native Americans
-Arabs
-Africans
-Pacific Islanders
-South-East Asians/Indians
-People of Mixed Decent
-Bisexual People of all Races and Classes
-Transgender Individuals
If you somehow fit into these categories... well, you obviously cannot, or there would be writings about you for this class. Also, don't forget, in traditional black-and-white 1950s programming style, if you are a lesbian (ie. woman), you best sit in the back of the room, remain silent, and let the gay white men tell you what's best for you. If you are a black lesbian, you had better be poor. If not, we will not want to listen to your struggles, because you will have been said to have not struggled enough.
If you would like more colorful programming, the creators of this Queer History class urge you to stop pursuing Queer History altogether and head to your nearest urban gay club. If this does not satisfy you, you are welcome to do historical research about gay people "of color" on your own, but do not bring your findings back to class, this is a waste of time, they will be ignored.
We hope that the presentation of this class has not caused you any discomfort, irritation, anger, rage, pain, disappointment, or sadness. However if it has, we don't really care.
If this black-and-white presentation has provided too much hue for you and has created the OPPOSITE reaction (that of discontent over not having pure-white class programming), we invite you to set your television to Showtime on Sundays at 10 PM EST to watch the hot, new, all-white casted, completely normal depiction of daily gay life known as Queer as Folk.
Thank you for listening to this explanation of our programming. All concerns can be written and delivered to our trashcan, all complaints can be directed to deaf ears, and all compliments can be submitted via official letterhead documentation or by engraved plaque to be displayed prominently on our office wall.
...We now return you to our regularly scheduled black-and-white programming...
Oh yeah, more of my stuff (not all, cuz I code and put stuff up at total random) can be found at The Discount Poetry Bin
OH YEAH, and can I just mention that THORA is so fucking hott that I don't even know how to handle myself right now?!
Yeah.
Cheers!
-Git-
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Just to let you know, you dont have to be the house wife, I want to be someones man-wife. Thats right I have been prepping myself in all the arts of house keeping and am looking for a good sugar momma to take care of me while I take care of her and her house
[Edited on May 04, 2003]
ALSO, to everyone, I sincerely hope the angry sarcasm and satirical nature of this piece was understood by all... I keep forgetting that y'all don't know me and someone might be confused by this piece and think this is what I think is right or normal or something, when really that's the opposite idea of the piece.
Oooookay! that's it!
-Git-