girthy

Ho boy,

The last couple of days have been pretty rough.


I guess I should start from the begining...*sigh*


So I've been trying to find a job in order to support myself here in Los Angeles cause I really didn't come out here with a lot of money, my dad kinda fucked me over by not paying me in full for the three months of manual labor I performed for him (I was promised $15/bucks an hour under the table, and to be averaging about 60-80 hours a week. This was the reason I moved out of my kicks ass apt. in Bozeman, quit my really awesome gas station job, and turned down the second job at Staples that I had just gotten to move to the hellish armpit that is Hamilton, MT to live with my alcaholic father.) I wound up moving out to L.A. with $850 and still being about five grand in debt.

I had to get a new bank account when I moved out here due to the fact that the one I had in Montana was only accessable in Montana and Wyoming. By the way, along with the gas to get down here and putting some money on some pass due bills before I left, I found myself with about $268 to start my life in Southern California with. Okay, I also bought a digital camera, but it was only $70 bucks, and I really needed something with better resolution than the P.O.S. I had been sporting. Anyways, I opened the new account down here with $120 and moved into my place in Santa Monica using a $100 check (I'm renting a room in my sister's boss' house for $600/month, so he was doing this as a favor to her, also I agreed to help him out with any computer stuff that he needs help with, pretty good deal.)

Like an idiot I make a $120 payment on my credit card, using my old account in MT, obviously I didn't have enough funds to back all of these payments and deposits up, and the $100 dollar check I wrote to Steve, my sister's boss, winds up getting returned. Now he's all pissed at me for giving him a bum check, but he's willing to work with me cause the $300 dollar check I gave him a couple of days after I gave him the original check had cleared. But yeah, I'm a retard.

I get even more distraught when I try to ease my mind and attempt to escape the drama in my life by hangin out on SG and wind up getting caught up in the soap opera that took place on here as it was happening, I wind up going and sitting in my car for about 2 hours listening to music to clear my head.

Stuff with school had been down right frustrating, due to the fact that the finantial aid office had been giving me the runaround, sending me back and forth between the different departments and not really accomplishing anything. I have this job set up in the Library and all I really needed is a letter confirming my eligibility for federal work study in order to seal the deal, but nope still getting the run around. My sister's roommate, who's a professor at the university, gave me a recomedation so the job was practically mine. I fuck it up big time though cause the night before, I wind up staying up until five a.m. helping my sis out with these assignments that she needs to turn in before midnight tonight or she's fucked in this class, and I end up late showing up to the interview, which I really coulden't do officially 'cause I wasn't able to produce the comformation letter due to the fact that my fafsa is taking forever to prosses cause I was using my mother's info, and she's changed her name like fifty thousand times so the social security office needs me to fill out this confirmation sheet and she needs to sign it, plus I need to write them a letter about her and my situation, (somthing I really don't like to talk about, but fuck it, I don't care anymore, she's been a meth addict for the last 12 years or so, abandoned me and my sister, and now is basically homeless in Squaw Valley. My sister and me practically raised each other since we were 9 and 10.) which is really fucking me up emotionally.

I've descovered L.A. traffic will fuck you over with anything you would ever want to get done. I got this part in a cable access sketch comedy show and it was being filmed in the valley from 3 to 5 on thursday and I had a job interview in Santa Monica at 5 the same day (I tried to get them to rescheduel the interview but they told me that 5 on thursday was the latest that I would be able to do). The taping goes very well and actually wraps up around 4:35 so I go on my merry little way back to Santa Monica, thinking,"Hey! I just might make it!" I call the place and tell them that I'm going to be late 'cause I have to come all the way from the valley anyways just to cover my bases. They tell me, "No prob." Yeah, but it winds up taking me a fucking hour just to get back into SM, and another 15 minutes to get to the place (It's on wilshire and centinella). I looked like a total asshole walking in there 45 minutes late to an interview, it wound up not happening. It all came down to what was more of a priority, doing this sketch comedy show that I had obligated my self to a week before, or going to the job interview that I had been told about the day before. Considering that the show was a non-paying gig, I've determined that although I am loyal, I am a fucking idiot.

So to recap, I had missed two job interviews, wasted about 20 bucks in gas sitting in traffic, royaly pissed off my sister's roommate, because she went up to bat for me by giving me a recomendation (something she NEVER does) as a favor to my sister, so of couse she's pissed off at me as well, and it's not even 6 p.m. yet.

But it doesn't stop there...

I wind up getting in to this argument with her because I was planning on going out to Huntington Beach to go hang with GangstaSwan that night, she(my sister) argues that it's a horrible idea that I'm even seeing this girl cause she lives all the way in OC and that I can't afford to be driving out there all the time (she's not really a bitch, I swear, she's just been cranky lately cause her doctor put her on this really strict diet where she can't have any sugar whatsoever, so she's just been really cranky the last couple of days, she's really badass normaly, trust me on this.) and I wind up spending like an hour explaining to her that the fact that nothing is going to prevent me from going out with GS is in no way ment to ignore her advice, and that I'm not meaning to be a ungratefull jerk, but I really need to see this girl cause I really like her and I feel that I need to follow my heart.

Regardless, I'm still an ignorant fuckstick.

I wind up being 2 hours late in picking up GangstaSwan at the paper, she's pissed, but she's also happy to see me so it's not to bad. I still feel terrible. We wind up hanging out at the bar with her friends for a little while, but it's kinda akward 'cause this one guy from her work that's always giving her a hard time cause he's got this massive crush on her is there, so we jet.

We make out at every red light on the way back to her place while listing to Benni Benassi, it's awesome.

I lock my keys in my car when we get there, I know have this urge to just sit down in the middle of oncomming traffic. GS reassures me that everything's gonna be fine, she's got AAA. I heart her, so very much. She put up with my tardyness and me being a bumbling ball of nerves with the patience of a buddhist monk, seriously, she's super cool manchu and she's so smart too, and most possibly the sexyest person I have ever met.

We fool around a little and pass out. I wake up about three or four times during the night confuesd and disorented, having forgotten that I was at her place.

We wind up taking an inmproptu nap in the morning and have to wait for the AAA guy to come and unlock my car, I owe GS a very romantic eveing as soon as I get some extra cash comming in.

The last few days have been very clumsy and frusterating, but there have been little nuggets of awsomenss here and there, so I guess It's not all bad.

By the way, I know this was a long ass entry, but fuck you, it's my journal...