NOTE: ok so I suck, I haven't finished this because of the reasons in my next journal, which I am typing at the time of me writing this. I might finish it, I might not.
But to make a long story short, The trip there was hell, the event itself was fucking amazingly mindblowing awesomesauce, and the trip back was almost as hellatious as the trip up, but for different reasons.
Fear & Hoping in Black Rock City
A Savage Journey into the Modern Subculture
By Girthy McOrangestein
Sunday, August 27th 2006
But to make a long story short, The trip there was hell, the event itself was fucking amazingly mindblowing awesomesauce, and the trip back was almost as hellatious as the trip up, but for different reasons.
Fear & Hoping in Black Rock City
A Savage Journey into the Modern Subculture
By Girthy McOrangestein
Sunday, August 27th 2006
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
After working up at the job for a couple of hours to make up for the time I lost on Saturday, I head on over to my homie Garrett's pad and we start the preparations for the mystical voyage that we were soon (or so we though) to embark upon. We stock up on supplies at Trader Joe's, Target, REI and WallyWorld. Our main plan of action: Keep it simple. We use the Survival Guide that we printed off of the Burning Man website as our shopping list and stock up on dried fruits and dehydrated foods. We also decide to go to a local Arminean market and pick up some lamijune. Basically things that are super dank to eat and easy to cook with minimal cleanup.
About halfway into our shopping spree, Garrett and I get a phone call from my sister, Crystal, whom we are rolling up to BRC with. She informs us of a big fucking change in our original, much preferred plans.
The original plan consisted of Garrett, Myself, Crystal, her life long friend Jodi, and this girl Jenn going up in this old RV that Crystal had spent the last month and a half "refurbishing" and Garrett's parent's van. The ladies were to roll in the RV while Garrett and I ran bandit detail in the van. Not a bad plan.
However, Jodi had convinced this dude, a mutual friend of her and my sister's named Jason, to drive up there in one of his dad's 50 foot, brand spanking new RV. The ladies were to ride all cushy with him, and so that all of her time and money wouldn't have "gone to waste," I had to now drive this piece of shit 1973 pre-fuel injection carburetor Dodge MiniWinnie by myself, while Garrett followed in the van, by himself.
Oh, and now we're leaving for Black Rock City on Monday at 6:00... PM!!!
We were livid.
We wanted to tell them to fuck off and just roll up there on our own in the van, but we figured since they have the big RV, we would have the old one to ourselves. The plan started to not seem so bad after all.
We were still pissed though, mainly 'cause we really didn't like this Jason character to begin with, for he's kind of an idiot. You know, one of those Abercrombie and Finch douchebags. It really didn't matter though because we both knew that once we got to Black Rock, we were going to spend as little time near "Paris and the Entourage" as humanly possible.
It starts to get late and we head back to Garrett's pad to do our laundry and get our recent acquirements arranged. We decide to break for the night and take in the Sunday Night Premiers on Adult Swim. Despite the constant frustration, we are still brimming with excitement.
About halfway into our shopping spree, Garrett and I get a phone call from my sister, Crystal, whom we are rolling up to BRC with. She informs us of a big fucking change in our original, much preferred plans.
The original plan consisted of Garrett, Myself, Crystal, her life long friend Jodi, and this girl Jenn going up in this old RV that Crystal had spent the last month and a half "refurbishing" and Garrett's parent's van. The ladies were to roll in the RV while Garrett and I ran bandit detail in the van. Not a bad plan.
However, Jodi had convinced this dude, a mutual friend of her and my sister's named Jason, to drive up there in one of his dad's 50 foot, brand spanking new RV. The ladies were to ride all cushy with him, and so that all of her time and money wouldn't have "gone to waste," I had to now drive this piece of shit 1973 pre-fuel injection carburetor Dodge MiniWinnie by myself, while Garrett followed in the van, by himself.
Oh, and now we're leaving for Black Rock City on Monday at 6:00... PM!!!
We were livid.
We wanted to tell them to fuck off and just roll up there on our own in the van, but we figured since they have the big RV, we would have the old one to ourselves. The plan started to not seem so bad after all.
We were still pissed though, mainly 'cause we really didn't like this Jason character to begin with, for he's kind of an idiot. You know, one of those Abercrombie and Finch douchebags. It really didn't matter though because we both knew that once we got to Black Rock, we were going to spend as little time near "Paris and the Entourage" as humanly possible.
It starts to get late and we head back to Garrett's pad to do our laundry and get our recent acquirements arranged. We decide to break for the night and take in the Sunday Night Premiers on Adult Swim. Despite the constant frustration, we are still brimming with excitement.
Monday, August 28th 2006
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Now that we have some time to spare and more room, G-funk and I go grab some luxury items. We try and get in touch with Crystal but she keeps on blowing us off. Our collective level of frustration rises when she waits until 3:45 in the afternoon to inform us that we have to pick up the RV from Manhattan Beach. We were in the Valley. Grenada Hills to be exact. Roughly 35 miles away. In Los Angeles midday traffic.
Crystal demanded that we pick up the RV, take it to this place in the valley to pick up the generator and the oil changed, then after loading it with our stuff, drive it back down over the hill and meet her in Santa Monica from where we were to leave. I tell her that her plan makes entirely no sense.
Seriously, why would we drive this behemoth all the way up to the valley then all the way back down just to drive turn around and drive back north again? Garrett and I tell her that she's meeting us at the house in the valley, no exceptions. She bitchely agrees, meanwhile Jodi makes snide remarks from the peanut gallery. Bitches.
Traffic sucks going down, it takes us a little over an hour to get to the shop where the RV was. I run in, grab the keys from Mayo, the owner of the shop and a family friend, and ask him if there's anything I should know about the vehicle before I attempt to drive it.
"Nope, just like driving a van. It's an automatic, so it's easy." he replies.
He forgot to tell me about the choke, the dirty gas in the tank, and the crap battery.
We make it two blocks and the fucker chokes out on us. I have no clue how to start it up again so the battery winds up dying...
...Right in the middle of Sepulveda Boulevard.
Two hours, a crash course in pre-fuel injection choke activated carburetors, three Manhattan Beach Police officers, and a sympathy jumpstart later; we finally hit the road.
We get to Louis' around 7:30PM, we get the safety briefing on the generator, get the fridge running, and learn everything else that we need to know about the bucket of bolts that I have the distinct pleasure of driving the entire six-hundred plus miles to Burning Man. It is now 9:00PM and we haven't heard from Crystal or Jodi in six hours. Louis, sensing our frustration, offers us a bowl. We partake, then bolt.
We get back to Garrett's and his mom starts giving us shit about how we are nowhere near ready to leave. I want to tell her to cram it, but I stay respectful. Had she known about the hell we had just gone through, she wouldn't have gave us such a hard time. It was good though cause it lit the fire under our asses that we needed to get everything packed in the swift manner that we desired.
We get a hold of Jenn to let her know that we're ready to roll. She shows up and she loads some of her things in the RV and takes off to collect the rest. Jenn's fleetness makes her one of our favorite people.
11:30PM and still no Crystal, Jodi, or Jason. I reluctantly take the opportunity to grab some quick zzz's for we have been going non-stop since 9AM that morning.
Crystal demanded that we pick up the RV, take it to this place in the valley to pick up the generator and the oil changed, then after loading it with our stuff, drive it back down over the hill and meet her in Santa Monica from where we were to leave. I tell her that her plan makes entirely no sense.
Seriously, why would we drive this behemoth all the way up to the valley then all the way back down just to drive turn around and drive back north again? Garrett and I tell her that she's meeting us at the house in the valley, no exceptions. She bitchely agrees, meanwhile Jodi makes snide remarks from the peanut gallery. Bitches.
Traffic sucks going down, it takes us a little over an hour to get to the shop where the RV was. I run in, grab the keys from Mayo, the owner of the shop and a family friend, and ask him if there's anything I should know about the vehicle before I attempt to drive it.
"Nope, just like driving a van. It's an automatic, so it's easy." he replies.
He forgot to tell me about the choke, the dirty gas in the tank, and the crap battery.
We make it two blocks and the fucker chokes out on us. I have no clue how to start it up again so the battery winds up dying...
...Right in the middle of Sepulveda Boulevard.
Two hours, a crash course in pre-fuel injection choke activated carburetors, three Manhattan Beach Police officers, and a sympathy jumpstart later; we finally hit the road.
We get to Louis' around 7:30PM, we get the safety briefing on the generator, get the fridge running, and learn everything else that we need to know about the bucket of bolts that I have the distinct pleasure of driving the entire six-hundred plus miles to Burning Man. It is now 9:00PM and we haven't heard from Crystal or Jodi in six hours. Louis, sensing our frustration, offers us a bowl. We partake, then bolt.
We get back to Garrett's and his mom starts giving us shit about how we are nowhere near ready to leave. I want to tell her to cram it, but I stay respectful. Had she known about the hell we had just gone through, she wouldn't have gave us such a hard time. It was good though cause it lit the fire under our asses that we needed to get everything packed in the swift manner that we desired.
We get a hold of Jenn to let her know that we're ready to roll. She shows up and she loads some of her things in the RV and takes off to collect the rest. Jenn's fleetness makes her one of our favorite people.
11:30PM and still no Crystal, Jodi, or Jason. I reluctantly take the opportunity to grab some quick zzz's for we have been going non-stop since 9AM that morning.
Tuesday, August 29th 2006
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
The big RV finally arrives sometime around 3:00AM. I wake up, down a starbucks coffee thing and go to load the items that Crystal left in the old RV in to the new one. This is where we find out why she wanted us to bring the old RV. We were going to be her closet. Pissed, I throw her shit back in to the old RV and get ready to roll.
Jason suggests that we leave tomorrow morning because he's too tired to drive.
I almost loose it. Garrett and I tell him to quit acting like a little bitch and be a man.
We hit the road at 4:30AM, the start of what is suppose to be a ten-hour drive.
We stop for gas in Mojave and the battery in the old RV dies. This really nice Mexican guy who spoke no English gives me a jump. Jason continues to bitch about being tired. We press on.
The sun rises shortly afterward, it's amazing. I manage to get some video of it.
Jason gets on the walkie-talkie and tells us that he's falling asleep at the wheel, I find myself getting a little cross-eyed myself so we all agree to pull over at the next rest stop and grab forty winks. Garrett isn't tired so he chills in the van listening to house music.
About an hour and half/two hours later, Garrett wakes me up so we can hit the road again. It takes us about twenty minutes to get Jason and them rolling. Pansies.
We make it to Bishop before we have to gas up again. The girls inform us that they need to do some last minute shopping. We wind up staying there for three and a half hours.
I once reluctantly take the opportunity to get some shut eye once again. They return with some groceries and a tandem bike.
The Dodge starts to overheat as we chug up the gigantic fucking hill outside of Bishop. I start to panic. All is not lost though for when we reach the top and start the descent, the engine temperature drops. I get my first dose of the torture that is hot foot.
I'm going to use this time to explain something about the Dodge. It's one of those small RVs that are built on a van chassis and it's from the early seventies, the engine actually sits between the driver and passenger seats. When that sucker overheats, it roasts the fuck out of your legs and the accelerator pedal gets extremely hot. It fucking sucks, I tell ya.
The route that we took was windy as fuck so I didn't really feel too comfortable going any faster than sixty miles per hour, plus it was gusty as fuck so it made the drive that much more terrifying. I punch though it though, keeping my eye on the prize.
I realize that I haven't seen any of the others in my caravan for a good hour or so and start to wonder how far ahead I am. Suddenly, Garrett flies past me with my sister riding shotgun, they motion for me to pull over, so we find a good spot and take a break.
They inform me that Jason was starting to weave all over the road a ways back so they pulled over to give him a break, I had no idea so I just kept on going. When they realized this Crystal and Garrett jumped into the van and raced off to get me. Apparently, I was hauling ass.
The big RV shows up about ten minutes later and Jason, Jodi and Jenn inform me that I'm a total madman. I agree, a madman on a mission. Garrett was just happy to be able to exceed the speed limit for the first time on the trip.
I'm totally wired so I take the time to get my Brain Age training done, I totally rock the house on Low to High, performing it at Train Speed.
After about twenty minutes, Garrett and I are ready to roll, but the others want to chill. Jason wants to sleep. This pisses G and I off because during all the opportunities that he had to sleep, he spent it flirting with the ladies. Dumb Bastard.
I'm slightly annoyed at the fact that it's starting to get dark and we're just reaching Carson City, I try not to bitch at my sister as she rides shotgun with me, but it winds up happening anyways.
We stop for gas at this RV depot outside of the capitol so we can fill up on water and propane. The girls want to get some more shopping done at Home Depot, spare keys and duct tape. I remember that Garrett and I were suppose to fill up the gas cans for the generator and we kick ourselves because we didn't do it earlier when we could have used his parent's Speedpass. Unfortunately for us the nearest Moble is in Big Pine, about twenty minutes south of Bishop. Garrett reluctantly pulls out his bankcard and we fill up, kicking ourselves the entire time. I assure him that I'll pay him back when we return to civilization. We meet the girls at the Home Depot, Jason is crashed out in the back his RV. It takes them forty-five minutes to make three sets of keys. They suggest that Garrett make a spare set of his, so to keep them from nagging at us we walk in, don't make the key, but say we did. I just want to press on, but alas, we sit in that parking lot for an additional two hours.
Jenn has completely exhausted her money and is starting to regret coming on the trip at all. I don't really blame her for I would be second-guessing myself had I been riding with those people. I assure her that no matter what, her, Garret and myself will be in Black Rock before the night is though.
Jason suggests that we leave tomorrow morning because he's too tired to drive.
I almost loose it. Garrett and I tell him to quit acting like a little bitch and be a man.
We hit the road at 4:30AM, the start of what is suppose to be a ten-hour drive.
We stop for gas in Mojave and the battery in the old RV dies. This really nice Mexican guy who spoke no English gives me a jump. Jason continues to bitch about being tired. We press on.
The sun rises shortly afterward, it's amazing. I manage to get some video of it.
Jason gets on the walkie-talkie and tells us that he's falling asleep at the wheel, I find myself getting a little cross-eyed myself so we all agree to pull over at the next rest stop and grab forty winks. Garrett isn't tired so he chills in the van listening to house music.
About an hour and half/two hours later, Garrett wakes me up so we can hit the road again. It takes us about twenty minutes to get Jason and them rolling. Pansies.
We make it to Bishop before we have to gas up again. The girls inform us that they need to do some last minute shopping. We wind up staying there for three and a half hours.
I once reluctantly take the opportunity to get some shut eye once again. They return with some groceries and a tandem bike.
The Dodge starts to overheat as we chug up the gigantic fucking hill outside of Bishop. I start to panic. All is not lost though for when we reach the top and start the descent, the engine temperature drops. I get my first dose of the torture that is hot foot.
I'm going to use this time to explain something about the Dodge. It's one of those small RVs that are built on a van chassis and it's from the early seventies, the engine actually sits between the driver and passenger seats. When that sucker overheats, it roasts the fuck out of your legs and the accelerator pedal gets extremely hot. It fucking sucks, I tell ya.
The route that we took was windy as fuck so I didn't really feel too comfortable going any faster than sixty miles per hour, plus it was gusty as fuck so it made the drive that much more terrifying. I punch though it though, keeping my eye on the prize.
I realize that I haven't seen any of the others in my caravan for a good hour or so and start to wonder how far ahead I am. Suddenly, Garrett flies past me with my sister riding shotgun, they motion for me to pull over, so we find a good spot and take a break.
They inform me that Jason was starting to weave all over the road a ways back so they pulled over to give him a break, I had no idea so I just kept on going. When they realized this Crystal and Garrett jumped into the van and raced off to get me. Apparently, I was hauling ass.
The big RV shows up about ten minutes later and Jason, Jodi and Jenn inform me that I'm a total madman. I agree, a madman on a mission. Garrett was just happy to be able to exceed the speed limit for the first time on the trip.
I'm totally wired so I take the time to get my Brain Age training done, I totally rock the house on Low to High, performing it at Train Speed.
After about twenty minutes, Garrett and I are ready to roll, but the others want to chill. Jason wants to sleep. This pisses G and I off because during all the opportunities that he had to sleep, he spent it flirting with the ladies. Dumb Bastard.
I'm slightly annoyed at the fact that it's starting to get dark and we're just reaching Carson City, I try not to bitch at my sister as she rides shotgun with me, but it winds up happening anyways.
We stop for gas at this RV depot outside of the capitol so we can fill up on water and propane. The girls want to get some more shopping done at Home Depot, spare keys and duct tape. I remember that Garrett and I were suppose to fill up the gas cans for the generator and we kick ourselves because we didn't do it earlier when we could have used his parent's Speedpass. Unfortunately for us the nearest Moble is in Big Pine, about twenty minutes south of Bishop. Garrett reluctantly pulls out his bankcard and we fill up, kicking ourselves the entire time. I assure him that I'll pay him back when we return to civilization. We meet the girls at the Home Depot, Jason is crashed out in the back his RV. It takes them forty-five minutes to make three sets of keys. They suggest that Garrett make a spare set of his, so to keep them from nagging at us we walk in, don't make the key, but say we did. I just want to press on, but alas, we sit in that parking lot for an additional two hours.
Jenn has completely exhausted her money and is starting to regret coming on the trip at all. I don't really blame her for I would be second-guessing myself had I been riding with those people. I assure her that no matter what, her, Garret and myself will be in Black Rock before the night is though.
Wednesday, August 30th 2006
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
We finally start the last leg of the journey, the time: 12:05AM.
Garrett reaches his breaking point at starts to go cross-eyed so Crystal volunteers to drive his van while he sits shotty with me in the H.M.S Girth (the name I had christened the dodge with just minutes before.) wrapped in the sweet caress of a cashmere blanket. He was such a trooper.
At this point I've started to succumb to the road madness, I totally miss the onramp back onto I-395. I flip a quick bitch and we're back on track. From there we jump on 80-East. Once again the madness sets in and I catch a glimpse of a sign directing me to the state highway 445 towards Gerlach. I realize that I have no fucking clue where I'm going after Reno, remember something about a town named Gerlach, and go to exit. However by this time, I have already passed the exit completely and am getting off to catch it on the flip side.
Jenn is on the horn with a barely conscious Garrett, asking him why we left her and Crystal at the gas station (don't ask.) She informs us that we're shooting for the state highway 447, which is about twenty or so miles down the road. I bust an illegal merge though the intersection from the right turn lane and get back on I-80.
I got the big RV on my rear. They were probably all like, "What the fuck?"
But fuck both those people, they suck anyways.
We get off I-80 at Wadsworth and wait for Crystal and Jenn to arrive. We follow them to 447. I started getting antsy, for it was approaching 2:30AM and I had been in that fucking tin can for almost 24 hours straight. My sanity crumbled when I saw that Gerlach was seventy fucking seven miles away. The journey was not over yet.
Garrett awakes suddenly, right as Powerpill Pac-man by Aphex Twin jumps on the radio.
"Aphex Twin.." he murmers.
"FUUUUHHHHHCK! FUCKADY FUUUCKIN' SHIT BITCH ASS MUTHERFUUUUHHCKER! COCK-SUCKIN' CUNT ASS WHORE DOUCH DICK!" I insanely shout back.
"Dude, you allright?" Garrett asks with concern.
"This road trip, is never going to end, dude. I'm fucking loosing it, man. I'm starting to think that there's nothing for us when we get there. Seriously, man." I solemnly profess.
"Nah man, just stay with me, we gotta make it. We're soo close.
I look at the time, 3:45AM; we're almost there.
Crystal is stuck behind this slow ass truck, so I gun it to passing gear and pass them. Crystal franticly honks at us as we do so, but I just go, "Ehh..." and continue on.
She passes Old Man River and gets back in to the lead. I'm sorta glad about this because I had no business leading this group. However, neither was Crystal, because she drives right by the opening. Everyone was behind us too, so by the time we could turn around and get back, we wound up getting stuck in the jam at the port of entry.
As we sit in line Jenn gets out of the van and tells me to go grab my ticket over at will call. For the first time, Garrett is facing his fear; piloting the H.M.S. Girth.
I roll up to the ticket booth straight Gonzo style, cigarette though the bandana and everything.
"HI THERE!" I exclaim excitedly, "I HAVEATICKET ON WILLCALL! HERE, IS MYI.D!"
I was fuckin' outta my mind. It was awesome.
I run over and Garrett, half awake, still draped in the blanket, slinks over to the co-pilot chair and falls back asleep. Jason forgets his ticket and is forced to the back of the line where he has to buy one. Crystal pulls off to the side and frantically signals us to do so. We're sitting there for about five minutes when this guard dude start giving me mad attitude. I take a deep breath and direct him towards my sister. She turns on shmooze mode and he leaves us alone. That's the one thing about my sister, she has a B.S. in Scamology.
The five mile an hour putt to the temporary camping seemed like an eternity, but the bermashave style signs talking about the technological singularity made for an excellent time passer.
We get to the city gates and the guy at the front says to Garret and I, "I hear you got some virgins in this car."
"That would be the two of us." I admit.
He tells us to get out of the car and come with him.
"Fuck." I think to myself.
He hands us both a pipe and tells us to ring the virgin bell.
"Who you are doesn't matter anymore." He tells us.
Crystal grabs the pipe outta Garrett's hand and rings the bell, even though it's her second burn...
Garrett reaches his breaking point at starts to go cross-eyed so Crystal volunteers to drive his van while he sits shotty with me in the H.M.S Girth (the name I had christened the dodge with just minutes before.) wrapped in the sweet caress of a cashmere blanket. He was such a trooper.
At this point I've started to succumb to the road madness, I totally miss the onramp back onto I-395. I flip a quick bitch and we're back on track. From there we jump on 80-East. Once again the madness sets in and I catch a glimpse of a sign directing me to the state highway 445 towards Gerlach. I realize that I have no fucking clue where I'm going after Reno, remember something about a town named Gerlach, and go to exit. However by this time, I have already passed the exit completely and am getting off to catch it on the flip side.
Jenn is on the horn with a barely conscious Garrett, asking him why we left her and Crystal at the gas station (don't ask.) She informs us that we're shooting for the state highway 447, which is about twenty or so miles down the road. I bust an illegal merge though the intersection from the right turn lane and get back on I-80.
I got the big RV on my rear. They were probably all like, "What the fuck?"
But fuck both those people, they suck anyways.
We get off I-80 at Wadsworth and wait for Crystal and Jenn to arrive. We follow them to 447. I started getting antsy, for it was approaching 2:30AM and I had been in that fucking tin can for almost 24 hours straight. My sanity crumbled when I saw that Gerlach was seventy fucking seven miles away. The journey was not over yet.
Garrett awakes suddenly, right as Powerpill Pac-man by Aphex Twin jumps on the radio.
"Aphex Twin.." he murmers.
"FUUUUHHHHHCK! FUCKADY FUUUCKIN' SHIT BITCH ASS MUTHERFUUUUHHCKER! COCK-SUCKIN' CUNT ASS WHORE DOUCH DICK!" I insanely shout back.
"Dude, you allright?" Garrett asks with concern.
"This road trip, is never going to end, dude. I'm fucking loosing it, man. I'm starting to think that there's nothing for us when we get there. Seriously, man." I solemnly profess.
"Nah man, just stay with me, we gotta make it. We're soo close.
I look at the time, 3:45AM; we're almost there.
Crystal is stuck behind this slow ass truck, so I gun it to passing gear and pass them. Crystal franticly honks at us as we do so, but I just go, "Ehh..." and continue on.
She passes Old Man River and gets back in to the lead. I'm sorta glad about this because I had no business leading this group. However, neither was Crystal, because she drives right by the opening. Everyone was behind us too, so by the time we could turn around and get back, we wound up getting stuck in the jam at the port of entry.
As we sit in line Jenn gets out of the van and tells me to go grab my ticket over at will call. For the first time, Garrett is facing his fear; piloting the H.M.S. Girth.
I roll up to the ticket booth straight Gonzo style, cigarette though the bandana and everything.
"HI THERE!" I exclaim excitedly, "I HAVEATICKET ON WILLCALL! HERE, IS MYI.D!"
I was fuckin' outta my mind. It was awesome.
I run over and Garrett, half awake, still draped in the blanket, slinks over to the co-pilot chair and falls back asleep. Jason forgets his ticket and is forced to the back of the line where he has to buy one. Crystal pulls off to the side and frantically signals us to do so. We're sitting there for about five minutes when this guard dude start giving me mad attitude. I take a deep breath and direct him towards my sister. She turns on shmooze mode and he leaves us alone. That's the one thing about my sister, she has a B.S. in Scamology.
The five mile an hour putt to the temporary camping seemed like an eternity, but the bermashave style signs talking about the technological singularity made for an excellent time passer.
We get to the city gates and the guy at the front says to Garret and I, "I hear you got some virgins in this car."
"That would be the two of us." I admit.
He tells us to get out of the car and come with him.
"Fuck." I think to myself.
He hands us both a pipe and tells us to ring the virgin bell.
"Who you are doesn't matter anymore." He tells us.
Crystal grabs the pipe outta Garrett's hand and rings the bell, even though it's her second burn...
We arrive at Black Rock City on Wednesday, August 30th 2006 at 4:36AM.
Total Driving Time: 24 hours, 6 minutes.
Keep in mind that we started in Los Angeles. Yeah...
Anyways...
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
We pull up in to temporary camping and Garrett and I are ready to hit the town. It was like the sheer power of the Burning Man entered our bodies, completely recharging us.
It was like when you played Legend of Zelda and that big ass fairy would fill all your hearts up. Just a total mental, physical, and moral boost.
Crystal tells us that she wants to give us a tour, and to wait for her to change.
Garrett and I jump on our bikes and ride off.
We weren't waiting for anyone anymore.
---
First place we check out is Center Camp. We head to the info booth. I pull out the list of people from SG that were there and start running searches on the names. I find Stiles,Marge & threelessthanten, and CharlieLove. We roll over to Marge & threelessthanten's ice cream truck. The whole city is pretty much dead, much to our amazement. Things are still going on in the distance but most of the camps were all tucked in for the night. We are clumsy at first trying to make sense of the streets, but we make it to IllumIceCream just as the sun is rising.
I pull out my pen and rip a page outta my note pad and leave them this note:
We pull up in to temporary camping and Garrett and I are ready to hit the town. It was like the sheer power of the Burning Man entered our bodies, completely recharging us.
It was like when you played Legend of Zelda and that big ass fairy would fill all your hearts up. Just a total mental, physical, and moral boost.
Crystal tells us that she wants to give us a tour, and to wait for her to change.
Garrett and I jump on our bikes and ride off.
We weren't waiting for anyone anymore.
---
First place we check out is Center Camp. We head to the info booth. I pull out the list of people from SG that were there and start running searches on the names. I find Stiles,Marge & threelessthanten, and CharlieLove. We roll over to Marge & threelessthanten's ice cream truck. The whole city is pretty much dead, much to our amazement. Things are still going on in the distance but most of the camps were all tucked in for the night. We are clumsy at first trying to make sense of the streets, but we make it to IllumIceCream just as the sun is rising.
I pull out my pen and rip a page outta my note pad and leave them this note:
I was here, but now I'm gone.
I left my name,
To TURN YOU ON!
Signed,
Girthy McOrangestein
I also add some fairly vague coordinates to our temporary whereabouts.
We decide to roll back to the pad and make some breakfast.
We make a beautiful feast of turkey sausage and scrambled eggs, do our Brain Age training, and then pass the fuck out.
We wake up sometime around midday and discover that a very gorgeous woman is applying suntan lotion, completely topless. We stare in awe. Little did we know that this would be only the first two in a countless number of tits that we'd see over the next five days.
Garrett informs me that Jenn found us a place to camp, so we roll on over and claim our permanent Black Rock Address: 6:45 & Destiny.
We get dressed and ride into town. We roll by the ice cream truck and actually catch them this time. Stiles even shows up. We all chill for a while, shoot the breeze, catch up and acquaint ourselves with those of us that don't know each other. After a while Garrett looks at his phone and informs me that it's "about that time."
We give everyone our 'laters' and roll back to camp. Garrett pulls out the ole scissors and rations out the LSD. We take a quick look through the event guide and find "WHORAPALOZA" down over at the Whiskey & Whores Saloon. We both agree that sounds worthy of our attention so we venture out to Black Rock City at night.
Now Black Rock is very different at night than it is during the day. It turns in to this wild carnival of mindless self over-indulgence as soon as the sun sets.
We take in some quite excellent dancers as the acid starts to kick in. I suddenly decide to enter the strip contest, so I go talk to the guy. They don't have the song I want, but he tells me if I go grab my iPod, they can play it. So we roll back towards camp.
Unfortunately, by the time we get outside, everything is melting
Our navigational skills are totally fucked. It takes us a half hour to travel three blocks. We finally find our way back but have a hell of a time concentrating. I turn into an airplane and start dive-bombing the van. I have no clue what Garrett was up to, but he was trippin' pretty hard as well.
I grab the iPod, and discover that it' in desperate need of a charge, so I hook it up to Garrett's laptop. The computer however, refuses to cooperate. As I try and get the fucker to work, Garrett goes ahead and says one of the greatest things ever.
"Could you pass me the Ibuprophen, please?"
"What? Where are they, damnit?" I reply half insane.
"The Ibus, of the Prophensteins. They're in the blue bag." He declares.
"The Ibu of the Prophensteins?" I ask.
"Yeah, the Prophenators." He reiterates.
We bust out laughing so hard that our sides hurt. It was rad. I will later declare that Ibu Prophenstein is his new name. He will be refered to as such for the remainder of the tale.
We decide that riding bikes on acid is a bad idea so we return to Whiskey & Whores on foot. Once again, our impaired navigational skills cause us to wander around for a good thirty minutes before we get back to the Saloon.
I put my name on the list and get my iPod set up to play Aphex Twin's Windowlicker. There's one dancer in front of me. As I sit and watch the girl on stage I hear a voice to my left.
"Girthy?" a familiar looking redhead queries.
"Yes?" I cautiously reply.
It's CharlieLove, I finally get to meet her.
"Somehow I knew I'd find you at Whiskey & Whores!" She laughs...
...Even more so when I inform her that I'm going up next.
The M.C. calls my name. I take the stage...
To be continued...
VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
poison:
Give my entry for Miss Horrorfest a 5 star rating and help me win!!! More details in my journal....I've only got 2 days so if you can get anyone else to give this thing 5 stars it would be appreciated more than you know. Miss Horrorfest Dolly
metalmarna:
hello fellow cancer. the fall making you blue yet?!