My feelings toward getting married.
I don't think that just because we get married that my social life will be over, that i'll never travel, finish school or have fun anymore as some people have said. Sure when I look at people like my parents i'm like yeah they're lives definitely went down hill and there were few good times. But they got married for reasons in which I think are stupid. Like...the church my mom was going to said that she should marry my dad because they were living their lives in sin...etc...Not every one you date, or meet or fuck is going to be the person you want to marry. I dated some guys (didn't fuck them by the way lol if you're wondering) and i definitely didn't want to marry them let alone go on a second date with them.
Why do I want to marry Ryan?
1. I love him.
2. He makes me happy, and I in return try to return the happiness. As far as I know, I succeed.
3. Instead of being just one person, I wanna be two (sounds funny huh,) what i mean is I want to be unified. Two souls intertwined Aristotle type of thing.
4.I want to be his and him mine under law/god/higher being sort of thing.
5. I want to carry his last name. With pride & love.
Why get married now? is the question everyone keeps asking.
1. Because i'm ready to start building our life together in a more serious commitment/step sorta way.
2. Because marriage isn't a death sentence, and it's something that feels right, deep down in my bones and I want to get married now.
3. Because although it's a common belief that people change, hard times are tough on people, and you shouldn't get married young in my heart i already feel married all that's left is the celebration and the paper and my age doesn't matter. Like my mom told me you could be 40 trying to find the right one and not find the right one. Ryan's the right one. Maybe people don't work because they force themselves to be with one another for reasons like, pressure from religious members /friends/parents, or pregnancy, or they fight but they think getting married will fix it, or they just believe that maybe the good relationships are the ones that cause drama, pain and tears. Maybe they think if they're not hurting it isn't love or maybe they think everything is just meant to be hard...idk i went on a ramble...
All i know is life is more fulfilling when Ryan's by my side, whether it's just watching movies at home, eating PF Changs, or Albertos or just going to the mall and walking around or going to the grocery store...Everything is an adventure. I look to him for inspiration, for love, someone to confide in, to dream with, and make our dreams come true. I don't want to look at the world as one person, but two.
I think the name of marriage has had to many bad connotations attached to it.
Not everybody's marriage is doomed,
But i do think, things that don't start out right end wrong.
But that was never a worry of mine with him.
It all started out so right.
I don't think that just because we get married that my social life will be over, that i'll never travel, finish school or have fun anymore as some people have said. Sure when I look at people like my parents i'm like yeah they're lives definitely went down hill and there were few good times. But they got married for reasons in which I think are stupid. Like...the church my mom was going to said that she should marry my dad because they were living their lives in sin...etc...Not every one you date, or meet or fuck is going to be the person you want to marry. I dated some guys (didn't fuck them by the way lol if you're wondering) and i definitely didn't want to marry them let alone go on a second date with them.
Why do I want to marry Ryan?
1. I love him.
2. He makes me happy, and I in return try to return the happiness. As far as I know, I succeed.
3. Instead of being just one person, I wanna be two (sounds funny huh,) what i mean is I want to be unified. Two souls intertwined Aristotle type of thing.
4.I want to be his and him mine under law/god/higher being sort of thing.
5. I want to carry his last name. With pride & love.
Why get married now? is the question everyone keeps asking.
1. Because i'm ready to start building our life together in a more serious commitment/step sorta way.
2. Because marriage isn't a death sentence, and it's something that feels right, deep down in my bones and I want to get married now.
3. Because although it's a common belief that people change, hard times are tough on people, and you shouldn't get married young in my heart i already feel married all that's left is the celebration and the paper and my age doesn't matter. Like my mom told me you could be 40 trying to find the right one and not find the right one. Ryan's the right one. Maybe people don't work because they force themselves to be with one another for reasons like, pressure from religious members /friends/parents, or pregnancy, or they fight but they think getting married will fix it, or they just believe that maybe the good relationships are the ones that cause drama, pain and tears. Maybe they think if they're not hurting it isn't love or maybe they think everything is just meant to be hard...idk i went on a ramble...
All i know is life is more fulfilling when Ryan's by my side, whether it's just watching movies at home, eating PF Changs, or Albertos or just going to the mall and walking around or going to the grocery store...Everything is an adventure. I look to him for inspiration, for love, someone to confide in, to dream with, and make our dreams come true. I don't want to look at the world as one person, but two.
I think the name of marriage has had to many bad connotations attached to it.
Not everybody's marriage is doomed,
But i do think, things that don't start out right end wrong.
But that was never a worry of mine with him.
It all started out so right.
Let me tell you something coming from someone who got married younger than you, and has been now for 5 happy years.
Your social life does NOT have to change, you do NOT have to change, and NOTHING goes downhill unless one of you lets it. If i did not have Dave in my life, i honestly don't think i could go outside...or smile.... or even be whole again now that i have made that sacred act of marrying him. Nobody thought it was a good idea when i mentioned i wanted to go to Scotland to see him. They threw their 'red flags' in my face and said 'you're going half way across the world to meet someone who could be an axe murderer??' Do you think that made me feel confident? not at all. i felt deflated, scared, and i was second guessing myself.
After i saw him though, i never second guessed again. NOT ONCE.
I have outlasted my own mother in marriage years. she will no longer give ME advice
and i do NOT listen to anyone whose life i wouldn't want. why would you?
Kindred spirits. Soul mates. whatever you decide to call it, its beautiful, and (these days) rare, and unconditional, and eternal. Nobody should ever ever come down on someone who only wants to complete something as honest as you and Ryan have.
Marriage has a bad rap only because of things like lack of maturity, patience, and commitment. We are getting lazy, and losing faith in things like 'soul mates'. I find it completely bewildering when couples cheat on eachother. i absolutely do not get it. when i see a couple like you two, i see two people that will love eachother and care for eachother till the end of both their lives
point is: when you know, you know.
sorry so long girl, but i feel like i have been in your shoes--and i could've used this talk at that time