gingerkiss

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats just about sums up how I feel so far today.

Now yesterday was amazing...no particular reason. I was just feeling so much joy and love for life in general. Granted there are many things in this world that are sad. A small and personal example: I just got off the phone w/ my mom. She just moved up to San Fran and decided to check the area out yesterday and get a few things at a local Wal-mart. When she arrived she realized she was the only white person there. That didn't phase her she just made an observation to herself. She went in and just after getting a shopping cart a young couple rammed into her back with their cart. My mom is so sweet and passive, Im surprised she didn't cry on the spot. She just stopped, held her back and looked behind her at the two. They laughed and as they walked away the guy said to the girl maybe that will keep her away next time. Can you believe it!!!!! My mother has gotten strong over the years. She continued her shopping and didn't cry until she was done telling me what happened.

I know there is racism and biases with everyone everywhere, but Im sick of it. Im tired of people hurting other people. Its a bad virus. Why is it so fucking hard to spread the good stuff?????????????? People hurt people in SOOOOO many ways. Physically, emotional, mentally, blatantly, sneaky, here and there...all the time.

I wanted my next blog to be all about the happiness I have been feeling lately. I wanted to share good news. But right now Im sad and upset that someone wanted to hurt a sweet, all loving, tender, patient, older woman (truly a mother goodness) because of the way she looks!

You know I was 10 yrs old when I made it in a few local Long Beach papers. Long story to blog out but in short I was beat up by an average of 27 kids(per investigators) ,girls and boys, all same race, between 6th and 8th grade. I was lucky I only had to spend a week in the hospital. I remember everything like it was yesterday. The girl who started it's reason "Cause the way you look". Despite all our family has been through Im still not racist! Some people are just using bad things from the past as excuses to hurt people now. I can bet that girl's family line never was subjected to slavery. Even if it had, there is no logic in her attacking me because of something that happened to her distant family a long time ago by some other family (not mine).Didn't she know that white people were slaves too, sex slaves and tortured even before black slavery. Im only 3rd generation on my mother's side. And 4th on my father's. My dad- Irish, my mom-russian,Baltic. I can tell you some stories of my great grandparents.

I need to stop before I come off wrong. I have enough love in my heart for EVERYONE and some make it so hard.