Thursday Apr 27, 2006

0
Yesterday while talking w/ my friend I really thought about how much I want to be w/ josh, how much I love him and that I could be ok w/ not having a child.
Then tonight I walked into the apt and again he was distant. Not rude, detached.
I told him we needed to talk. He thinks there is nothing for us to talk more about and that I need do make my mind up on my own. That hurt. He says he doesnt want to influence me one way or the other. I totally understand he wants me to be true to myself. I know how he feels about a child but I need to know where we stand now, because..
He also says now that even if I stay w/ him and say Im ok not having children he doesnt believe Ill really mean it. Ahhh. Whats he saying about us. Am I reading between the line right???? confused
I don't think/feel it's about a child anymore.It's about just us. It's too bad he can't feel what I'm feeling from w/in me and what i'm tring to give to him. I love him very much.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
gingerkiss:
i feel as though he's not giving me time. i feel right now,what's the point in staying w/ him now if he's always going to worry about me wanting children and not believing i happy just w/ him.he thinks it won't work because i'll be liying to myself,basicly. i feel he doubts our love and relationship. the only positive thing he has spoken is "i do love you and don't want us to end" but that was said before tonight. now he's saying the more he thinks about it the more he thinks i really want a child, i won't be able to give that up and it just won't work. ahhhhg. he saying i have to not want a child.not feel as though i'm giving something up. but that's what i'd be doing by own free will because i love him more than having a child.
i just need time to adjust to something new. i never though i wouldn't have kids. people have to make adjustment all the time. some are free will others they have no choice about.

[Edited on Apr 27, 2006 10:43PM]

[Edited on Apr 27, 2006 10:47PM]
deathbyopus:
hope things get better for ya

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