gingergayle

last night kicked ass--well, not as much as it could have, but it did.
went out with josephene and the rest of the gang for a night of paintballing (owwwie), dinner, and boating. what a great group of people. it was nice to be away from the boyfriend for a night and be myself. i know, i ask myself the same question, i don't know. i am told that i'm 'scared to be alone' and maybe that's what it is, who knows. the good doesn't measure against the good anymore. it's hard to get rid of something that brings you comfort. i'm working on it, though.
after the great 'blow off' last night i went home and spent too much time thinking before getting some sleep.
tonight, it's boating with the gang, and then josie's cousin sam is coming into town tomorrow, so we'll spend much of the weekend out on the lake. at some point this weekend, i need to study too, shit. school is kicking my ass, i'm ready for break.
she feeds my competitive nature, my goddess with the beautiful touch. my heart beat quickens thinking about it now. addicted to the feeling, i can't get enough. i won't quit fighting for what i want. fuck all those who judge, the heart wants what it wants.