fuck love! i did it. i swore to myslef that i would not do it again. for the last two years i had built a perfect fortress around my heart. noone was getting in. i had some gfs but none that were ever close.
Then these summer i started hanging out with my ex from highschool. she had a bf and i was seeing someone. we started hanging out every now and then, which in turn lead to a budding romance. she would be at my house every night and stay. we never did anything other then lay next to each other. then her bf broke up with her (because of me) and the next night we made love. and now we are a couple
i think she realy does love me, i realy do. she read me pages from her journal that she wrote two years ago, even when we wern't even realy talking and it said that one day she and i will marry. and i am at a point in my life when i want to kinda settle with a girl. not marrige but a real couple... know what i mean? but there just seems like so many things. one is the slight distance. she is back at home and im here at ship. i see her when im home during the weeknights for band practice and during the weekends. but she works everyday at subway so when i see her during the weekday its only to sleep at her moms house because its closer to ship. we just don't have time to do normal things. and i want that. she is also a pot head, like huge. she argues that she only smokes everynow and then but currently she is on 10 days striaght. its not that i don't like pot, i do it now and then myself. and i do drink alot but its the way she uses it. she uses it as a crutch. she has no motivation in life. her only goal is "to be happy" but she says the only thing that makes her happy other then me is pot. she has so much potential! another thing that kind of goes with this is her friends. pretty much all guys. some ex-bfs. she hangs out with them all the time. i know a few of them lust over her. and its just like some of the situations. i don't wanna sound like im controlling, i don't care if she hangs with most of them. but i just don't trust a couple of them. like tonight she spent the night with her first "love" from highschool. she said there is no atraction anymore from her part, but we both know he wants her. that went for a two hour drive around the farms and smoked their brains out. when got home she called and she could barely hold a conversation. i don't know, maybe its me....
theres some more things but i don't want to bore you guys more tonight...
i need a dog to snuggle with at night...
shit, i do not want to turn into a emo boy!!!
Then these summer i started hanging out with my ex from highschool. she had a bf and i was seeing someone. we started hanging out every now and then, which in turn lead to a budding romance. she would be at my house every night and stay. we never did anything other then lay next to each other. then her bf broke up with her (because of me) and the next night we made love. and now we are a couple
i think she realy does love me, i realy do. she read me pages from her journal that she wrote two years ago, even when we wern't even realy talking and it said that one day she and i will marry. and i am at a point in my life when i want to kinda settle with a girl. not marrige but a real couple... know what i mean? but there just seems like so many things. one is the slight distance. she is back at home and im here at ship. i see her when im home during the weeknights for band practice and during the weekends. but she works everyday at subway so when i see her during the weekday its only to sleep at her moms house because its closer to ship. we just don't have time to do normal things. and i want that. she is also a pot head, like huge. she argues that she only smokes everynow and then but currently she is on 10 days striaght. its not that i don't like pot, i do it now and then myself. and i do drink alot but its the way she uses it. she uses it as a crutch. she has no motivation in life. her only goal is "to be happy" but she says the only thing that makes her happy other then me is pot. she has so much potential! another thing that kind of goes with this is her friends. pretty much all guys. some ex-bfs. she hangs out with them all the time. i know a few of them lust over her. and its just like some of the situations. i don't wanna sound like im controlling, i don't care if she hangs with most of them. but i just don't trust a couple of them. like tonight she spent the night with her first "love" from highschool. she said there is no atraction anymore from her part, but we both know he wants her. that went for a two hour drive around the farms and smoked their brains out. when got home she called and she could barely hold a conversation. i don't know, maybe its me....
theres some more things but i don't want to bore you guys more tonight...
i need a dog to snuggle with at night...
shit, i do not want to turn into a emo boy!!!
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
persya:
happy birthdayyy!!
genevieve:
...shit...