ginacherry

On this Mother's day- Mother's day in Mexico is on May 10th every year - and though she resides in Phoenix, that umbilical cord of the mother country will never be cut. It is cool, I can not even begin to understand how I would feel...the loss of my identity if I was forced to leave the sweet scent of everything I have ever known..and for this I forgive her ...the reluctance to learn English...the reluctance to give way to what it means to me ....to be a female...in this country....so on this Mother's day...I talk to her, I call her and we talk about the past ...as always.....I am constantly reliving the past with both of them.....they would only be int he same room if they were at my funeral- but they never stop talking about one another....the betrayal..the hate...the love I can still hear in both of their lonely voices...and through me....their past, present..their hope for the future passes....unoticed..undocumented...except for my heart beat and the tears that well up in the corner of my eyes. I wish I was I was more of a vessel sometimes ..I wish that somehow..I could just put history in it's place...stop for the moment..and entwine them...in their own humanity. She was too young, he was too young.....they were.....fucking are so narcisistic...and we...me...my brother and sisters...carry all that int he memory of their genes..through the rivers of the veins that lead back to our desperate hearts...wanting to escape..this decade of slow torture and pain...She is my mother,,,I am her and through me...her hate, love, shame, loneliness lives on...but only a little of it is left and it slowly dies every year. There is only so much a human can do......happy mother's day I say.....and she reasures me...that she still loves us all.....and will forever more.....i finally believe her