gillette

I lit candles on the memorial type shelf I have for him. It has a clock over it, its his 30 year clock from Boeing. 2 pictures of him, one of him, myself, and my mother's father and some candles. I burn them on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. I didn't spend much time sad. A rememberance of his birth was the way to go for me. It makes me happy. I'm sure glad he was alive Not just for my life purposes, I would have been birthed elsewhere without him, to someone else. But I'm glad I was his daughter. Plus, a lot of sadness left me after I had my son. They are so similar its uncanny.

When I was pregnant with Marshall I craved shellfish, big fat glasses of chocolate milk (never just milk, but milk with just enough syrup to make it gritty) and nectarines. My pregnancy was pretty lonely (that's when me and his father were splitting up). But we had lovely moments alone, mostly in the bath tub. Where I'd watch him move, all the while my body was relieved by the whole boyancy thing. I wish I had spent more time happy.

havent we all lets cross our fingers they make that button soon! Im sure it'll one day come about- imagine how much easier they ahve made things already.. i mean...com' on we have du du dun! the swifer wet jet!! cant get much better than that.. and the dish washer.. now the only trick is getting the dishwasher to load it's self too! -Karoke is fun, why havent you been back to do it again? -too bay you dont live here- we could karoke the night away! bow chicka bow.

xox

I agree about antidepressans. I've been med free for about a year and a half and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. I think it hurts more when you need to cry and physically can't. At least that's how it felt for me. It even took a while for my drugs to wear off enough for me to be able to cry. It felt SO cleansing to finally be able to cry.

I'm sorry about your dad. Its been 7 years for me. Still hard.

I'm glad you're still around.

thats pretty funny. it reminded me of when I was in kindergarten and we were drawing self portraits. You know how when you look down upon a child and you see the ground behind them. Well, I drew green behind me because as an adult that is what you'd see behind me if you were to look down on me. I just about pulled my hair out trying to explain what a background was.

My son is wonderful and 4 is my favorite age. Not old enough to really talk back. Old enough to think for themselves. Its so cool to watch their little minds work.

*hugs* sorry im a bit late on this..its been awhile, since ive been able to look around on the site..so id thought id see how you've been doing. -looks like not so good.

my uncle died on christmas eve...what a time for deaths huh? thats awful.

how are you holding up? *hugs*

let me know if you need anything stranger. xo

*edited, because i cant type this morning.

[Edited on Mar 25, 2004 5:22AM]

i'm sorry

hi Im back. Where have you been? I hope you come back soon! your entries make me happy

peter taking apart a loft bed.....Dont know this peter charactor But watching anyone put together anything can be quite hilarious. -hope you come back soon!

xo

Redecorating is fun. I don't like painting so much tho.

Wow! You are inspiring! No, I probably won't go do those 3000 quilts now, but its great to see someone helping people like you have.

You are my hero. LE is very lucky to have you for a mom

I used to do tech support for the sims, I have a love hate relationship with that game!

happy birthday!!