gillette

I lit candles on the memorial type shelf I have for him. It has a clock over it, its his 30 year clock from Boeing. 2 pictures of him, one of him, myself, and my mother's father and some candles. I burn them on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. I didn't spend much time sad. A rememberance of his birth was the way to go for me. It makes me happy. I'm sure glad he was alive Not just for my life purposes, I would have been birthed elsewhere without him, to someone else. But I'm glad I was his daughter. Plus, a lot of sadness left me after I had my son. They are so similar its uncanny.

When I was pregnant with Marshall I craved shellfish, big fat glasses of chocolate milk (never just milk, but milk with just enough syrup to make it gritty) and nectarines. My pregnancy was pretty lonely (that's when me and his father were splitting up). But we had lovely moments alone, mostly in the bath tub. Where I'd watch him move, all the while my body was relieved by the whole boyancy thing. I wish I had spent more time happy.

havent we all lets cross our fingers they make that button soon! Im sure it'll one day come about- imagine how much easier they ahve made things already.. i mean...com' on we have du du dun! the swifer wet jet!! cant get much better than that.. and the dish washer.. now the only trick is getting the dishwasher to load it's self too! -Karoke is fun, why havent you been back to do it again? -too bay you dont live here- we could karoke the night away! bow chicka bow.

xox