for the first time in months, i am actually working on my websites, but i find my interest is waning.
i'd rather be outside weeding the rose garden.
i'd rather be outside weeding the rose garden.
i haven't had much to say in recent months. five months since my dad died, and i look back to see five months of taking care of my mother, helping her sell her house, sell her stuff, buy a smaller house, deal with suddenly being poor, and through it all, mind-numbing grief.
i've never been a cryer. some women cry a lot, but in the...
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i've never been a cryer. some women cry a lot, but in the...
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elan:
I agree about antidepressans. I've been med free for about a year and a half and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. I think it hurts more when you need to cry and physically can't. At least that's how it felt for me. It even took a while for my drugs to wear off enough for me to be able to cry. It felt SO cleansing to finally be able to cry.
I'm sorry about your dad. Its been 7 years for me. Still hard.
I'm glad you're still around.
I'm sorry about your dad. Its been 7 years for me. Still hard.
I'm glad you're still around.
elan:
thats pretty funny. it reminded me of when I was in kindergarten and we were drawing self portraits. You know how when you look down upon a child and you see the ground behind them. Well, I drew green behind me because as an adult that is what you'd see behind me if you were to look down on me. I just about pulled my hair out trying to explain what a background was.
My son is wonderful and 4 is my favorite age. Not old enough to really talk back. Old enough to think for themselves. Its so cool to watch their little minds work.
My son is wonderful and 4 is my favorite age. Not old enough to really talk back. Old enough to think for themselves. Its so cool to watch their little minds work.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
jasperellah:
*hugs* sorry im a bit late on this..its been awhile, since ive been able to look around on the site..so id thought id see how you've been doing. -looks like not so good. 
my uncle died on christmas eve...what a time for deaths huh? thats awful.
how are you holding up? *hugs*
let me know if you need anything stranger. xo
*edited, because i cant type this morning.
[Edited on Mar 25, 2004 5:22AM]
my uncle died on christmas eve...what a time for deaths huh? thats awful.
how are you holding up? *hugs*
let me know if you need anything stranger. xo
*edited, because i cant type this morning.
[Edited on Mar 25, 2004 5:22AM]
lysergicengel:
i'm sorry
elly posted pictures of peter taking apart the loft bed, and i cried until my chest hurt.
le:
you aren't the only one.
jasperellah:
hi 
Im back. Where have you been? I hope you come back soon! your entries make me happy
peter taking apart a loft bed.....Dont know this peter charactor
But watching anyone put together anything can be quite hilarious. -hope you come back soon!
xo
Im back. Where have you been? I hope you come back soon! your entries make me happy
peter taking apart a loft bed.....Dont know this peter charactor
But watching anyone put together anything can be quite hilarious. -hope you come back soon!
xo
every year when i sign up for nanowrimo, i immediately experience writers block.
i am supposed to be doing something else, so of course i am here, although i really don't have time to chat much, i have some things to say, many of them are rants, and be warned, i've been saving them up.
this laptop keyboard is a pain in the ass. it...
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i am supposed to be doing something else, so of course i am here, although i really don't have time to chat much, i have some things to say, many of them are rants, and be warned, i've been saving them up.
this laptop keyboard is a pain in the ass. it...
Read More
i've been very busy. i am worried about le, but she will be okay.
i am painting my house and redecorating a bunch of stuff. it is extremely fun to make a new inside world on a tiny budget.
i feel like lawrence llewelyn bowen, at least.
red is good.
i am painting my house and redecorating a bunch of stuff. it is extremely fun to make a new inside world on a tiny budget.
i feel like lawrence llewelyn bowen, at least.
red is good.
silencenoir:
Redecorating is fun. I don't like painting so much tho.
bracket:
10x dear
i've been out of sorts the last couple of weeks, which is interesting in some ways, because le and i both seem to be experiencing this thing where we look at our lives and try to decide what we want to be when we grow up.
i'm still in limbo, but i see some paths at the end of the tunnel - just don't know...
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i'm still in limbo, but i see some paths at the end of the tunnel - just don't know...
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elan:
Wow! You are inspiring! No, I probably won't go do those 3000 quilts now, but its great to see someone helping people like you have.
You are my hero. LE is very lucky to have you for a mom
You are my hero. LE is very lucky to have you for a mom
i am confused lately. i can't remember what i've done and haven't done. yesterday i screwed up and took my insulin twice, which meant eating a load of crap i didn't want when i wasn't hungry.
i am playing the sims and watching baseball on the teevee. some old guy just tried to beat up a young guy, and the young guy flipped him over...
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i am playing the sims and watching baseball on the teevee. some old guy just tried to beat up a young guy, and the young guy flipped him over...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
brakits0:
I used to do tech support for the sims, I have a love hate relationship with that game!
silencenoir:
happy birthday!!
i am going to be 50 in three weeks. i am not sure how that happened.
i don't need anything. all of the things i want are things nobody can give me but me or god.
having said that, it occurs to me i should update my amazon wish list.
i don't need anything. all of the things i want are things nobody can give me but me or god.
having said that, it occurs to me i should update my amazon wish list.
silencenoir:
Times does fly. I turned 30 this summer and I have no idea where the years went!
i am home from the wilds of georgia, where i suffered two weeks with no internet access. it was debilitating.
i have 8 netflix waiting to be watched, it is making me very excited. i am totally hot for worf these days.
i have 8 netflix waiting to be watched, it is making me very excited. i am totally hot for worf these days.
jasperellah:
Wow. Thank you wow. i dont know what to say. the whole scream fire, not rape thing- very good idea, i never really though about that -Funny thing is, normally i dont lack common sence as much as i did last night when all of that happened. - I grew up in a place where being molested, or being raped at least once, was a very common thing for women- and the sad thng is, it seems thats pretty much how it is all over the place now.
but with that came the whole, teach yourself as you grow way of looking at things, and the 'be paranoid, its better to be safe than sorry' way of looking at things- and it taught me a lot- I dont know exactly what i was thinking last night, i wasnt drunk, because i choose not to drink and drive. -but i dont know, i had that gut feeling, but kind of brushed it off- and now i think, thats when somthings going to happen ya know? as soon as you let your guard down- and push that gut feeling aside, thats when something is goign to happen. Im glad it didnt get to a worse point- and im glad ive learned something from it.
i had mace in my car, but living where i do, nothing like that really happens- so cleaning out my car, i once again lacked comon sence, and took it out of my car.. whihc was a big mistake, because just because somthing hasnt happend doesnt mean it never can- and of course thats the purpose for mace in the first place. so yah, i thought my mom had taken it out, but remembered cleaning out my car and taking it out.
Wow, i really appriciate what you took the time to say. -it made me think -and, wow, after that epesode, i need to do some thinking right? i really really appriciate that a lot- advice is a great thing to me, because a lot of times its really very helpful, if the person chooses to take the adivce, and i deffinantly am going to take it.
thank you, gillette- so much! -i was really speachless after reading that, because how many people that i talk to even in my everyday life give such great advice, and take the time to tell me what you did? is kind of what i thought- i mean, i told my mom- and she reacted by saying 'well, that was a stupid thing to do' which, of course it was- but what should i do, if that were to happen again? was kind of what i was looking for. -so, again, i appriciate it- you gave me more to think about and learn from it than my mom did. and that means a lot. *hug*
wow. i dont know what to say. the whole scream fire, not rape thing- very good idea, i never really though about that -Funny thing is, normally i dont lack common sence as much as i did last night when all of that happened. - I grew up in a place where being molested, or being raped at least once, was a very common thing for women- and the sad thng is, it seems thats pretty much how it is all over the place now.
but with that came the whole, teach yourself as you grow way of looking at things, and the 'be paranoid, its better to be safe than sorry' way of looking at things- and it taught me a lot- I dont know exactly what i was thinking last night, i wasnt drunk, because i choose not to drink and drive. -but i dont know, i had that gut feeling, but kind of brushed it off- and now i think, thats when somthings going to happen ya know? as soon as you let your guard down- and push that gut feeling aside, thats when something is goign to happen. Im glad it didnt get to a worse point- and im glad ive learned something from it.
i had mace in my car, but living where i do, nothing like that really happens- so cleaning out my car, i once again lacked comon sence, and took it out of my car.. whihc was a big mistake, because just because somthing hasnt happend doesnt mean it never can- and of course thats the purpose for mace in the first place. so yah, i thought my mom had taken it out, but remembered cleaning out my car and taking it out.
Wow, i really appriciate what you took the time to say. -it made me think
-and, wow, after that epesode, i need to do some thinking right? i really really appriciate that a lot- advice is a great thing to me, because a lot of times its really very helpful, if the person chooses to take the adivce, and i deffinantly am going to take it.
thank you, gillette- so much! -i was really speachless after reading that, because how many people that i talk to even in my everyday life give such great advice, and take the time to tell me what you did? is kind of what i thought- i mean, i told my mom- and she reacted by saying 'well, that was a stupid thing to do' which, of course it was- but what should i do, if that were to happen again? was kind of what i was looking for. -so, again, i appriciate it- you gave me more to think about and learn from it than my mom did. and that means a lot. *hug*
i've developed an insane fascination with the nanny, an irritating sitcom that i never bothered with when it was actually on network teevee.
i can't think why, but who am i to argue with mindless obsession?
i can't think why, but who am i to argue with mindless obsession?
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
jasperellah:
hi
austie_jonez:
MOM!
mark is on his way here with the futon stuffed into the back of the saturn, so the entertainment center is saved, lol!
i have been throwing things away from the garage. i am embarrassed to see the crap i hung onto for so long because i didn't want to fool with going through the boxes.
i leave to see the new house in georgia...
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i have been throwing things away from the garage. i am embarrassed to see the crap i hung onto for so long because i didn't want to fool with going through the boxes.
i leave to see the new house in georgia...
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elan:
I completely agree!!! I have a niece and her mother gets her SUCH adult clothes. She always wants low rise jeans and things like off the shoulder shirts. Her mother gives her makeup.. and I mean DARK makeup and shoes with heels... She only *just* turned 7. Good thing is she doesn't live with her mother and doesn't see her that often so the exposure is minimal. All I can think of is "enjoy being a kid!!!" I miss having my only concern being if so and so will be my friend and whatnot.
brakits0:
omg hahahahahahaha
so funny.
-s
so funny.
-s