gigondas

flashback 2

walking in Venice Beach
feeling foolish for trying to find a way to get her

to love you and realizing
she did

just how she could
not
how you needed her

she wasn't done dancing with strangers
and wanting her any other way was wrong

silly old man
she's young

still seeking
and wounded by childhood wrongs

not yet wanting
just one other

and it's good to see what a boyish fool
you are being

a boy you know
you are no longer

but this morning
acting the puffy lipped pouty poet in the corner

writing your broken heart poems
stuffed with immodest amounts of longing

planning the right place
to hide them

knowing this is not
what a man does

you realize while walking
these streets

where light spills
around every corner

somehow making you realize
it's up to you

you know yourself enough
to know this is you no longer

these old moves
you are ready to abandon

these false dance moves
you thought masked the depth of your longing

really just revealed
how much you were filled with wanting

and this morning
you can see

she still wants this
and you're too old for it

laugh to yourself
take a deep breath

and decide it's over
time for something new between us

at breakfast
the customary many mimosas

are had while you watch yourself fall out of love
and find yourself Goddamn happy for it

raise your glass and almost sing

Hallelujah for the sunshine of a Southern California seaside morning