gigondas

Everybody cares, everybody understands

Chapter 1.

Crescendo? No, it's quiet,
still tense
like it's building up but
...no, it's more like it's
circling or swaying in place
and it feels
like a lot of energy
for stasis.


Chapter 2.

Were your dreams wild last night? he asked.
I paused.
There'd been no dreams at all.

There was a lot of waking up
and knowing
I wasn't gonna be going down
deep enough
to open that door.
Maybe I hadn't had enough wine?
Maybe
I'm a
fraid
of
my
own mind

spiraling

the deep dark
and distance

growing

from which I see
spider-webbed
red lines
in my
and everybody's eyes...

I have to stop this.
I can't stop this.
This slow and predictable
descent is cliched.

Too far gone. The days do gain weight.
Ask my back.
Ask my knees.
Ask me tomorrow when hopefully I won't feel like hell

but
hell
I probably will.

Chapter 3

Tonight
"...I cannot say
that I have gone to hell
for your love
but often
found myself there
in your pursuit.
I do not like it
and wanted to be
in heaven. Hear me out.
Do not turn away.
I have learned much in my life
from books
and out of them
about love.
Death
is not the end of it..."

Amen.