I had a rough night last night, at least 2 hours of crying in bed (the hubs didn't even notice)
I was so bummed yesterday.............we live with my parents (older bro and gran too) I overheard them talking about wanting to move one day and such..................We would all be screwed or if you prefer F&%^#d
I think I have some kind of social disorder, it is so hard to do things on my own so me getting a job is horrifying for me. Going out on my own talking to people and such. I have quit so many things like college cause I had to speak in front of the class, CERT (Emergency response team) working at a voter booth all quit cause I couldn't handle being out with people I didn't know. Is there a term for this kind of thing? I am just realizing this now too Last time I did something on my own I walked to the post office to pick up a package, took my a day to decide to go too.
I don't think I get panic attacks, I think I would now if I did I just get scared and go through all the things in my head that could go wrong or that I won't like.
I have met SG peeps before and I was totally fine once I met them but panicky and nervous before hand (but I had my hubby with me)
Anyways back to the other thing, even if I did get a job I know there is now way we can afford rent/mortgage,utilities and all our bills. Even if we went to affordable housing here in Claremont the rent is still too damn high (lol) I don't know if my parents realize that, or how stressed out it makes me when they talk about moving or selling the house. I was a mess last night, and with no one to talk to. Just thinking about all this and what my options are. But the thought of a job just terrifies me even if I went to work with Chris and my dad (where people speak Spanish and I don't, Chris seems to get by ok) Our hours would be different so one of us would be sitting there for 2 hours before or after work waiting for the other to gt off work. And getting a job on my own with no car, and unreliable bus service (the bus creeps me out too by the way) I just don't know if we will ever be able to be on our own.
Also I want to quit me etsy store, I don't make a lot of sales and when I do they are far in between, it seems like I am wasting money buying yarn, and all the stuff to take pics if I still can't sell stuff, the downside of closing shop I still have over 100 items sitting in my craft room.
Well thanks for listening/reading
new item in the store
I learned something I do have a social anxiety Disorder, and it can be helped with therapy (but my insurance doesn't cover that) also meds which i am so anti Rx............so I don't know talk to my doc and get some potions or just deal with it on my own now that I realize I have a problem
I was so bummed yesterday.............we live with my parents (older bro and gran too) I overheard them talking about wanting to move one day and such..................We would all be screwed or if you prefer F&%^#d
I think I have some kind of social disorder, it is so hard to do things on my own so me getting a job is horrifying for me. Going out on my own talking to people and such. I have quit so many things like college cause I had to speak in front of the class, CERT (Emergency response team) working at a voter booth all quit cause I couldn't handle being out with people I didn't know. Is there a term for this kind of thing? I am just realizing this now too Last time I did something on my own I walked to the post office to pick up a package, took my a day to decide to go too.
I don't think I get panic attacks, I think I would now if I did I just get scared and go through all the things in my head that could go wrong or that I won't like.
I have met SG peeps before and I was totally fine once I met them but panicky and nervous before hand (but I had my hubby with me)
Anyways back to the other thing, even if I did get a job I know there is now way we can afford rent/mortgage,utilities and all our bills. Even if we went to affordable housing here in Claremont the rent is still too damn high (lol) I don't know if my parents realize that, or how stressed out it makes me when they talk about moving or selling the house. I was a mess last night, and with no one to talk to. Just thinking about all this and what my options are. But the thought of a job just terrifies me even if I went to work with Chris and my dad (where people speak Spanish and I don't, Chris seems to get by ok) Our hours would be different so one of us would be sitting there for 2 hours before or after work waiting for the other to gt off work. And getting a job on my own with no car, and unreliable bus service (the bus creeps me out too by the way) I just don't know if we will ever be able to be on our own.
Also I want to quit me etsy store, I don't make a lot of sales and when I do they are far in between, it seems like I am wasting money buying yarn, and all the stuff to take pics if I still can't sell stuff, the downside of closing shop I still have over 100 items sitting in my craft room.
Well thanks for listening/reading
new item in the store
I learned something I do have a social anxiety Disorder, and it can be helped with therapy (but my insurance doesn't cover that) also meds which i am so anti Rx............so I don't know talk to my doc and get some potions or just deal with it on my own now that I realize I have a problem
HUGs xxxx