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giggles

Claremont, Ca

Member Since 2005

Followers 76 Following 53

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Monday Feb 22, 2010

Feb 22, 2010
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Sick Sick Sick
Stared with a sore throat Wednesday night.
Hella worse sore throat Thursday, couldn't swallow my own spit it hurt so bad
Friday Throat still in pain, nothing seems to help it, and nose starts being stuffy/runny
Saturday Worse night ever throat is killg me and I get so damn frustrated I break down and cry,left eye starts oozing eye gunk
Sunday throat a bit better has it's worse moments, right eye starts oozing eye gunk
Today I slept good last night finally, and my nose is still runny/stuffy. My throat just sore from being so sore but it doesn't really hurt to swallow. Eyes still gross but now my ear hurts mostly my left ear

Good news being sick made me loose weight 285lbs down from 292lbssmile
My poor nose is so sore from all the blowing and wiping it has little cuts on it, so I have to slather on some antibiotic ointment on it
I think I will put a bit of Hydrogen peroxide in my ears to clear them up.

I am worried about Chris he was sick too
I went to get me some sudafed and the package was empty and in the trash, I asked if he took them all and he said no, but it's hard to believe an addict you know. He has yet to gain my full trust with these things.
That caused me to lock up all the cold and flu meds to along with his regular meds and painkiller. I went into the box to ge me another dose of sinus meds and the package I was looking for was gone. I know that there was one of those left and 3 NyQuil left but there was only 2. So I counted the vicodin that is in there and it seems way low. We had 100 pills on Thursday and Sunday there was about 70 -60 left. And he didn't ask me for that many since Thursday.
So now I am really suspicious of what he is up to so I go on his MSn account and his internet and look at his past history on the pc, the first site on the list is a porn site bestpornclips or something like that forget the whole name. But it is obviously a free t=you tube like porn site no mistaking that and it was on the top of the list.
I asked him about it today and he denies going int the box saying he doesn't know the code or knows where the key is. Nobody else in the house knows where the box is kept so they didn't so it and neither did I. And he says that he has never been to that porn site, doesn't like porn never has blah blah blah. That totally doesn't explain why it's the number one site on his history bar.
So I changed the lock combo on the box and hid the key again, And put parental controls on his internet usage and got data tracking on it too and everyone else just to see who keeps giving our computer bugs.

posted in the married women group for some advice

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

So my hubby as a pain pill addiction that we have been getting under control. I keep all his meds locked up in a box that uses a code or key to get into.
WE have both been pretty sick lately and the other day I went to get me some sudafed that was in the bathroom, the box was empty and in the trash. Asked the hubby said it must have bee someone else. So I locked up all the rest of the cold and flu meds. WEnt to get my a tylenol sinus and it was missing from the box I know there was one left plus 3 nyquils and there was none and 2 nyquils. Needles to say I changed the code and re hid he key and counted his pain killers. WE had 100 on thursday night and now less than 70, There is no way he asked me for 30 pills in 4 days. He said it wasnt him taking htem maybe someone else in the house did (no one else knows where i keep the box and why would they want sinus meds and pain pills)
So my trust is so low for him right now, Since he admitted to his addiction I have been checking his e-mail and online activities (with his permission) I guess I should of looked at the history closer. Today I logged on and at he top of the history bar was a porn site. Asked him an=bout it and he says he never went to that site or any porn site. He says he hates porn doesn't like looking at it or watching it (i think he just says that to make me feel better) So I figured out how to view all his history on the computer and yup lots of porn sites on there, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt thinking that maybe my dad was going on his name or my bro but nope sandwiched in between what i know he does online such as surfline and tmz is porn sites. Not just one or 2 sites but lots of different ones. With words like milf, wife swap, rape, mothers in law, mothers, teens and so on. Called him up and asked him to explain that, Still says it's not him doing it that maybe someone is using the wifi to access porn or some crap like that. I don' think that is possible since all of this was on his personal history, and there are no porn sites on any of our other accounts.
I had no idea he was doing any of this especially late at night stuff, I assumed he was asleep next to me in bad, maybe I am a deeper sleeper than I thought and just didn't hear him get out of bed.
I am at such a loss at what to do. I don't believe a word he says about this and the pills?
This has happened once before but not to this extent, but now thinking back maybe I trusted too much and should of dug deeper.
Sure he could be lieing to protect me, the last time I was so hurt and angry at him for watching porn (that he denied watching) maybe I drove him to be more secretive and sneaky? This whole porn thing is such a bummer, I feel like crap now on top of still being sick. I feel like I am not good enough or not what he really wants. He knows I have a huge sex drive I'd be willing to go at anytime of the day if he wanted it but he never seems to want it anymore for a while. We try for once a week but that hasn't happened in a while either.
I need help?


VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
niobe:
I hope you are feeling better.

*hugs*

I wish I knew what to say on your spoiler. I wish I did. When I found a huge stack of porn DVDs hidden in my boys game boxes, I kinda freaked out. But to be honest, I watch more porn than he does. So I really didn't have the right. Gosh, that was no help. I'm sorry. *hugs*
Feb 22, 2010
thejuan:
You are good enough, don't ever think otherwise!
Not sure what to say about the other stuff...
Feb 22, 2010

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