don't say u love me and don't promise me such things. show me u love me. hold me, hug me and help me feel again. kiss me . . . but don't promise what others have promised but never lived up to. i have been in too much pain to take someone say that word again. hearing that word feels like the floor beneath me has disappeared and I'm falling. never utter that word because then the pink haze that brought me to u will disappear and reality will kick me in a face and well if u ever seen someone's face kicked in its not pretty. . .
re-edited. . . .
I cant wait and sit around for u. I try to keep busy. Waiting and sitting makes me think. MY mind runs and well flashes of memories past. Over all right now my mind is a sad place. I come to realize that I spent most of my time in front of this computer. I waited for hours for my ex to come on and talk for at the end not to show. I would wait tired and sick in front of the computer till 5am wishing for a hello. Same happen with the phone. I would sit by the phone and wait. Push many people away just to sit there and wait for a call I would never get. I would take the cordless to bed and hug my pillow as I cried to sleep the last few weeks we were together. Realizing he was never going to call. This was his sign in saying I dont like u go away and find someone else. But I didnt get it. Because I was told that stupid word I love u. So I stuck around. I am tired of waiting and I am leaving and well I will come back when I am good and ready. I cant wait for that special someone. They want me they are going to have to put some effort in coming around and getting to know me. I tried my best in making an effort in being there for people and I find they always lets me down. Not any more I just wont expect anything. And well when that special person actually makes an effort I wont be able to deny the fact that they care for me. Because they tried to put the time and effort I have in the past and I know about the time and effort being put in someone. And well thats love when u do it willingly.
re-edited. . . .
I cant wait and sit around for u. I try to keep busy. Waiting and sitting makes me think. MY mind runs and well flashes of memories past. Over all right now my mind is a sad place. I come to realize that I spent most of my time in front of this computer. I waited for hours for my ex to come on and talk for at the end not to show. I would wait tired and sick in front of the computer till 5am wishing for a hello. Same happen with the phone. I would sit by the phone and wait. Push many people away just to sit there and wait for a call I would never get. I would take the cordless to bed and hug my pillow as I cried to sleep the last few weeks we were together. Realizing he was never going to call. This was his sign in saying I dont like u go away and find someone else. But I didnt get it. Because I was told that stupid word I love u. So I stuck around. I am tired of waiting and I am leaving and well I will come back when I am good and ready. I cant wait for that special someone. They want me they are going to have to put some effort in coming around and getting to know me. I tried my best in making an effort in being there for people and I find they always lets me down. Not any more I just wont expect anything. And well when that special person actually makes an effort I wont be able to deny the fact that they care for me. Because they tried to put the time and effort I have in the past and I know about the time and effort being put in someone. And well thats love when u do it willingly.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Anyway, everyone knows love only comes when you're not looking for it. You really should pick up a hobby or something. I recommend DJing. You seem like a Trip-Hop kind of girl. You'd be surprised what you can find on vinyl these days.
[Edited on Apr 17, 2003]
[Edited on Apr 17, 2003]
Aww Sweetie, I hope you feel better! And love does suck at times. Just think of it this way someone next in line might be 10 times better and will treat you like you deserve. If you need to talk you know where I am.
Big Hugs!