Hello everyone!
This is going to be a substantial blog from in my head. lol Im going to actually try and write some feelings and discuss things. This is my goal but we will see how this goes.
First off Happy Canada Day to all my Canadian homies ( and an early America Day or whatever you call it, its not coming to mind lol to my American homies
)
I celebrated yesterday with drinking Molson Canadien beer at 11 am until the crack of dawn
and hanging out with some of the best people I know including, of course, Boobzilla my bff and Bull Dyke fa lyfe. She has many spectacular pictures from our evening yesterday.
Im off work today so I have time to think of things and put my thought down on SG blog paper. or 100100101001001010010010111100101001110101001010 ( thats computer talk
)
So lets see. Ill go through the basics of my life.
WORK
Work is great. Not too often have a actually said this. But so far so good. My boss is a little bit high strung but I dont mind him. And he appreciates me big time and give me lots of money He told me to have the day off today and I work alone with no patients or boss until July 8th. Amazing. That means minimal work and early days. I like this.
SCHOOL
I just had my mid term exam delivered to me recently. I will be honest that I have not worked very hard and studying has been minimal. At least I have these easy days at work to try and get some studying in. I need to pass this course. Right now Im learning about retinal and corneal disorders, Refractive surgery, ocular motility and movement, Neurology and visual field and pediatric examination. Exciting or what?
ugh. However sticking it out also means graduating, becoming certified in my position and getting another raise. Which I would enjoy.
BOYFRIEND
hmm. This is where things get not as pleasant. Actually let me re-phrase. My boyfriend is amazing. He kills me laughing, hes extremely handsome in my eyes and hes so much fun when we are together. When hes in a good mood he is alot of fun. However, if he is tired or in a bad mood I want to walk right out the door and be nowhere near him sometimes. Boobzilla and I call each other BD's (bull dykes) because we often spend most of our time together minus the boyfriends. Mine especially. He really doesnt have much drive to go anywhere or do anything. Which really bums me out. I want to have fun spending time with him. And not that I mind being alone with Boobzilla, actually I love it but when her bf does hang out with us, often mine will not. Such a bummer. I think it has to do with the enormous amount of weed he smokes. I think it makes him very tired and lazy and antisocial. I have cut down dramatically on how much I smoke because of this.
And it hasnt just effected our social lives, its effected our sex lives too. At the beginning I think it was all so new sop he made exceptions, but 2 years into the relationship and seeing each other everyday I think he has gotten kinda lazy and doesnt care if we go a whole month with nothing. And what bugs me the most is Im counting. Like, currently we are at 1 month and 1 week. Still nothing. But what upsets me is that he is not counting. Im always the one "like fuck man its been so long since we boned" not him. Kind of makes me think hes not into me. If he wasnt always plastered to the couch I would think he was getting it somewhere else. Palmela Handerson Im sure is to blame for some of this. lol
Its not like we are not sexual though. We still play around and grab each others junk or hell dry hump me while Im washing dishes or something, but the sex in minimal.
And speaking of the sex, the last how ever many times we have had it it is alllways in the shower. Fun at first but getting really boring. I think its because I make a mess of the bed lol. And I dont know if that makes him paranoid. Hes never realy been the guy thats been really into the fact that I can actually enjoy sex enough to leave a mark lol. Ive had guys in the past go wild for it where it seems like hes just annoyed after. Ive never been a real fan of that at all. So now it makes me self conscious. Sometimes I even try and stop myself from enjoying sex just so I dont have to "annoy" him. Again, this is just how I feel and I know that if I ever confronted him with my thoughts he would say thats not true. But My mind is always going.
And then the initiation is fucked up too. Ive never had to initiate sex ever in my whole life so I never really did. Then one day my bf told me I should start doing that. Fair enough, except I was always so nervous that Id get shot down because he was "tired". So Ive always had a problem initiating with him because I never know when its "good for him". Again, if I were to say these things to him he would say "thats not true".
I dont want u to think my bf is a piece of shit. Because hes not. But I think hes excessive pot smoking has made him incredibly lazy. So lazy that he has no problem going celibate for a month. But it hurts me because It makes me wonder whats wrong with me. Why im not desirable enough for him to want to just take me and hammer down lol. I dont think I could leave him over something like this but I need a change. Sex is so important to me and a relationship and if im not excited or enjoying it ( of effing getting any for that matter) then I have a big problem on my hands. Trouble is, we never really talk about it. Ill say things and then it turns into a mini fight and one of us just gets mad or stops talking and that's it. Definitely no sex going on after that lol. Ive been thinking about writing my feelings down and giving it to him. Thats a very high school thing to do but it will help me not say things that a rude or insulting and possibly get the point across.
ANYWAYS!
enough of that. What else is there?
Oh lol. Embrassing moment number 1298493728936473864238: My cute little neighbour ( the one that I set up with my best friend) says to me yesterday. "Oh hey, Im not gonna lie, Ive seen you naked"
I knew exactly how. About 1.5 years ago, I dropped my cell phone in the hallways of my building. He brought it back to me. My bf was like "hes seen you naked now" I didnt want to admit it. But I knew.
And now the truth is out. Lol but hes a gentlemen. When I gave him a high five before I left last night he said "Hey pal! Ive seen you naked! I get a hug!!" I love that lil kid. <3
Anyways, Ill make a better blog with pictures or something some other time. Boozilla has a million including some pretty amazing pictures of my dog biting me lol.
Adios muchachos!
This is going to be a substantial blog from in my head. lol Im going to actually try and write some feelings and discuss things. This is my goal but we will see how this goes.
First off Happy Canada Day to all my Canadian homies ( and an early America Day or whatever you call it, its not coming to mind lol to my American homies
)I celebrated yesterday with drinking Molson Canadien beer at 11 am until the crack of dawn
and hanging out with some of the best people I know including, of course, Boobzilla my bff and Bull Dyke fa lyfe. She has many spectacular pictures from our evening yesterday.
Im off work today so I have time to think of things and put my thought down on SG blog paper. or 100100101001001010010010111100101001110101001010 ( thats computer talk
)So lets see. Ill go through the basics of my life.
WORK
Work is great. Not too often have a actually said this. But so far so good. My boss is a little bit high strung but I dont mind him. And he appreciates me big time and give me lots of money
He told me to have the day off today and I work alone with no patients or boss until July 8th. Amazing. That means minimal work and early days. I like this.SCHOOL
I just had my mid term exam delivered to me recently. I will be honest that I have not worked very hard and studying has been minimal. At least I have these easy days at work to try and get some studying in. I need to pass this course. Right now Im learning about retinal and corneal disorders, Refractive surgery, ocular motility and movement, Neurology and visual field and pediatric examination. Exciting or what?
ugh. However sticking it out also means graduating, becoming certified in my position and getting another raise. Which I would enjoy.
BOYFRIEND
hmm. This is where things get not as pleasant. Actually let me re-phrase. My boyfriend is amazing. He kills me laughing, hes extremely handsome in my eyes and hes so much fun when we are together. When hes in a good mood he is alot of fun. However, if he is tired or in a bad mood I want to walk right out the door and be nowhere near him sometimes. Boobzilla and I call each other BD's (bull dykes) because we often spend most of our time together minus the boyfriends. Mine especially. He really doesnt have much drive to go anywhere or do anything. Which really bums me out. I want to have fun spending time with him. And not that I mind being alone with Boobzilla, actually I love it
but when her bf does hang out with us, often mine will not. Such a bummer. I think it has to do with the enormous amount of weed he smokes. I think it makes him very tired and lazy and antisocial. I have cut down dramatically on how much I smoke because of this. And it hasnt just effected our social lives, its effected our sex lives too. At the beginning I think it was all so new sop he made exceptions, but 2 years into the relationship and seeing each other everyday I think he has gotten kinda lazy and doesnt care if we go a whole month with nothing. And what bugs me the most is Im counting. Like, currently we are at 1 month and 1 week. Still nothing. But what upsets me is that he is not counting. Im always the one "like fuck man its been so long since we boned" not him. Kind of makes me think hes not into me. If he wasnt always plastered to the couch I would think he was getting it somewhere else. Palmela Handerson Im sure is to blame for some of this. lol
Its not like we are not sexual though. We still play around and grab each others junk or hell dry hump me while Im washing dishes or something, but the sex in minimal.
And speaking of the sex, the last how ever many times we have had it it is alllways in the shower. Fun at first but getting really boring. I think its because I make a mess of the bed lol. And I dont know if that makes him paranoid. Hes never realy been the guy thats been really into the fact that I can actually enjoy sex enough to leave a mark lol. Ive had guys in the past go wild for it where it seems like hes just annoyed after. Ive never been a real fan of that at all. So now it makes me self conscious. Sometimes I even try and stop myself from enjoying sex just so I dont have to "annoy" him. Again, this is just how I feel and I know that if I ever confronted him with my thoughts he would say thats not true. But My mind is always going.
And then the initiation is fucked up too. Ive never had to initiate sex ever in my whole life so I never really did. Then one day my bf told me I should start doing that. Fair enough, except I was always so nervous that Id get shot down because he was "tired". So Ive always had a problem initiating with him because I never know when its "good for him". Again, if I were to say these things to him he would say "thats not true".
I dont want u to think my bf is a piece of shit. Because hes not. But I think hes excessive pot smoking has made him incredibly lazy. So lazy that he has no problem going celibate for a month. But it hurts me because It makes me wonder whats wrong with me. Why im not desirable enough for him to want to just take me and hammer down lol. I dont think I could leave him over something like this but I need a change. Sex is so important to me and a relationship and if im not excited or enjoying it ( of effing getting any for that matter) then I have a big problem on my hands. Trouble is, we never really talk about it. Ill say things and then it turns into a mini fight and one of us just gets mad or stops talking and that's it. Definitely no sex going on after that lol. Ive been thinking about writing my feelings down and giving it to him. Thats a very high school thing to do but it will help me not say things that a rude or insulting and possibly get the point across.
ANYWAYS!
enough of that. What else is there?
Oh lol. Embrassing moment number 1298493728936473864238: My cute little neighbour ( the one that I set up with my best friend) says to me yesterday. "Oh hey, Im not gonna lie, Ive seen you naked"
I knew exactly how. About 1.5 years ago, I dropped my cell phone in the hallways of my building. He brought it back to me. My bf was like "hes seen you naked now" I didnt want to admit it. But I knew.
And now the truth is out. Lol but hes a gentlemen. When I gave him a high five before I left last night he said "Hey pal! Ive seen you naked! I get a hug!!" I love that lil kid. <3
Anyways, Ill make a better blog with pictures or something some other time. Boozilla has a million including some pretty amazing pictures of my dog biting me lol.
Adios muchachos!
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