Over the last few years, I've learned the difference between passive and submissive, at least in regards to the women I date/fool around with. On the surface, the two terms seem synonymous, but in regards to a fulfilling or enjoyable relationship, there's a world of difference, at least to me. Please keep in mind that I'm speaking in broad generalities, exaggerating for effect, and that no value judgment is being made--I'm simply examining my own preferences based on my experience.
Initiating intimacy: a passive woman almost always waits for her partner to make the first move. They may respond enthusiastically once the ball is rolling, but they won't ever take the initiative, instead waiting for their partner to express interest. A submissive woman will often follow their partner's lead, but they will also at times initiate contact--either out of their own hunger, or from a desire to please their partner.
Expressing preferences: a submissive woman is usually with someone who understands and gets off on their particular kinks (and vice versa)--but they're also able to give hints or ask/tell their partner what they want or need. A passive woman will simply respond to what is being done to them, and answer any questions of what they want or like with "whatever you want."
Outside the bedroom: a passive woman will often carry her tendencies over to the non-sex world, deferring to her partner in regards to food choices, entertainment options, etc, answering such questions with phrases like "I'm flexible," or "Whatever sounds good to you, baby." A submissive woman is comfortable with her own wants and desires, and outside the bedroom has no problem making suggestions and decisions about where to go or what to do.
If it's not blindingly obvious, my bias is towards submissive over passive. I can see the attractiveness of someone who leaves all choices and control in the hands of their partner, but that just seems like it would get exhausting after awhile, always having to be "on."
There's also the matter of how it makes me feel--even in a casual relationship, I like my partner to express interest and be engaged in what's going on--it shows they're actually interested, and not just along for the ride.
This is probably why I'm more of a dabbler with BDSM, and prefer the phrase dominant to Dom, when referring to myself, and submissives to slaves in the women I date--I prefer a give-and-take over a 24/7 master/genie relationship, heh.
Initiating intimacy: a passive woman almost always waits for her partner to make the first move. They may respond enthusiastically once the ball is rolling, but they won't ever take the initiative, instead waiting for their partner to express interest. A submissive woman will often follow their partner's lead, but they will also at times initiate contact--either out of their own hunger, or from a desire to please their partner.
Expressing preferences: a submissive woman is usually with someone who understands and gets off on their particular kinks (and vice versa)--but they're also able to give hints or ask/tell their partner what they want or need. A passive woman will simply respond to what is being done to them, and answer any questions of what they want or like with "whatever you want."
Outside the bedroom: a passive woman will often carry her tendencies over to the non-sex world, deferring to her partner in regards to food choices, entertainment options, etc, answering such questions with phrases like "I'm flexible," or "Whatever sounds good to you, baby." A submissive woman is comfortable with her own wants and desires, and outside the bedroom has no problem making suggestions and decisions about where to go or what to do.
If it's not blindingly obvious, my bias is towards submissive over passive. I can see the attractiveness of someone who leaves all choices and control in the hands of their partner, but that just seems like it would get exhausting after awhile, always having to be "on."
There's also the matter of how it makes me feel--even in a casual relationship, I like my partner to express interest and be engaged in what's going on--it shows they're actually interested, and not just along for the ride.
This is probably why I'm more of a dabbler with BDSM, and prefer the phrase dominant to Dom, when referring to myself, and submissives to slaves in the women I date--I prefer a give-and-take over a 24/7 master/genie relationship, heh.