My life has been like the most nauseating roller coaster ride ever this past month or so.
Its as if each relationship in my life is like a different ride, and I cant decide which ones I like, and which ones make me want to throw up.
Living with my cousins have really opened up my eyes to a whole different way of living. Think of these relationships as my 3-D Simulation Ride. Looking at things in a whole new light. Its what Im forced to do every single day of my life. Every day there is some kind of problem, or hardship that I have to work through for the good of myself, and for the bettering of these 2 children. But not only do the children effect me, but so does my oldest cousin, their father. Every day it seems like I'm biting my tongue harder and harder to keep from lashing out at him. All the time its something new with him.. something else I did wrong, or something else I didnt do, or some other thing I did too much of. He can never appreciate that I just tryed to do as much as I could, and he needs to remember that Im 19, Im not the mother of his children.. there's no manual, I dont know what the fuck I'm doing. Im learning every single day from those kids on how to be better.. and thats all I can do. If he cant handle that, then he's going to find somebody else to do my job, and I wish him luck.
My best friend is like my ferris wheel.. probably not the most exciting analogy, but she's my constant, she's always there when I need a break break from everything else, to slow things down, even through all the ups, downs, and stops. And trust me, for that I am more grateful than she knows.
Anna, and Jeff are like my monorails. When I feel like I cant walk another step they're there to let me lean on them. They're there to take me through everything else. To help me see things from a different perspective, from outside of myself.
My family, theyre like those carnival games.. you know, they piss you off sometimes because you know that if it's not your night you just wont win, but no matter what you know they'll always be waiting for you to come back to them. Theyre always there to receive you when everything else has failed. No matter how many times you walk away, you always come back.
And myself.. well.. my relationship with myself is like that rock climbing wall that you have to pay extra for.. you dont care what the cost, you want to challenge yourself, and succeed. My life is a constant uphill battle, and Im trying so hard to work my way to the top. And every little peg I hold on to for the extra strength because I cant do it alone.. that is each and every single friend and family member I have in my life who is there for me no matter what.
Its as if each relationship in my life is like a different ride, and I cant decide which ones I like, and which ones make me want to throw up.
Living with my cousins have really opened up my eyes to a whole different way of living. Think of these relationships as my 3-D Simulation Ride. Looking at things in a whole new light. Its what Im forced to do every single day of my life. Every day there is some kind of problem, or hardship that I have to work through for the good of myself, and for the bettering of these 2 children. But not only do the children effect me, but so does my oldest cousin, their father. Every day it seems like I'm biting my tongue harder and harder to keep from lashing out at him. All the time its something new with him.. something else I did wrong, or something else I didnt do, or some other thing I did too much of. He can never appreciate that I just tryed to do as much as I could, and he needs to remember that Im 19, Im not the mother of his children.. there's no manual, I dont know what the fuck I'm doing. Im learning every single day from those kids on how to be better.. and thats all I can do. If he cant handle that, then he's going to find somebody else to do my job, and I wish him luck.
My best friend is like my ferris wheel.. probably not the most exciting analogy, but she's my constant, she's always there when I need a break break from everything else, to slow things down, even through all the ups, downs, and stops. And trust me, for that I am more grateful than she knows.
Anna, and Jeff are like my monorails. When I feel like I cant walk another step they're there to let me lean on them. They're there to take me through everything else. To help me see things from a different perspective, from outside of myself.
My family, theyre like those carnival games.. you know, they piss you off sometimes because you know that if it's not your night you just wont win, but no matter what you know they'll always be waiting for you to come back to them. Theyre always there to receive you when everything else has failed. No matter how many times you walk away, you always come back.
And myself.. well.. my relationship with myself is like that rock climbing wall that you have to pay extra for.. you dont care what the cost, you want to challenge yourself, and succeed. My life is a constant uphill battle, and Im trying so hard to work my way to the top. And every little peg I hold on to for the extra strength because I cant do it alone.. that is each and every single friend and family member I have in my life who is there for me no matter what.
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kiddin