Life has given me another kick in the ass. I'm trying to get use to them, they seem to come every 2 -3 years. This latest one left me deeply wounded.
Its like life gave this huge jug of animal crackers. It's all mine, I don't have to share. Then life comes back along and says, " I'm gonna have to take your awesome jug miles and miles away. But you can visit whenever you want." Ok.. I can do this. I love that awesome jug of crackers. I'll do whatever I can to keep it close. Then life comes back around and says my effort wasn't enough. Dumps my animal crackers on the ground and does an irish jig on them. They're gone. Nothing I can do. No way I can change the outcome. It hurts.
There's more to it. But that the gist of it.
Lately my emotions have been directed else where. Like getting my car back. It's become extremely important. Maybe I think it'll make things better. I'll have the means to do as I please... I doubt it. I'll probably only have the means to go where I honestly don't want to go. Where I shouldn't go. But I can't stay here. This is a moment I wish life came with manuals. Some sort of guidance. I was kind of left without one.. Not a clue. I know there's many paths I could take. Each one with their own consequences and joys. But this is an adventure I didn't think I had to take alone. Or I wanted to take alone.
Which leads me back to my animal crackers. I know there more at the store. Probably just as good. But this jug was everything I didn't know I wanted. You know, very few broken crackers. No dents on the container. Gave me an awesome sugar rush... Corny, I know, but thats the best I can describe it.
Life goes on.. Time will heal... Or as Joes says, "Take your losses." (He's an accountant.) I'll have many adventures. You can come along if you want. I don't think its fun to travel alone.
Its like life gave this huge jug of animal crackers. It's all mine, I don't have to share. Then life comes back along and says, " I'm gonna have to take your awesome jug miles and miles away. But you can visit whenever you want." Ok.. I can do this. I love that awesome jug of crackers. I'll do whatever I can to keep it close. Then life comes back around and says my effort wasn't enough. Dumps my animal crackers on the ground and does an irish jig on them. They're gone. Nothing I can do. No way I can change the outcome. It hurts.
There's more to it. But that the gist of it.
Lately my emotions have been directed else where. Like getting my car back. It's become extremely important. Maybe I think it'll make things better. I'll have the means to do as I please... I doubt it. I'll probably only have the means to go where I honestly don't want to go. Where I shouldn't go. But I can't stay here. This is a moment I wish life came with manuals. Some sort of guidance. I was kind of left without one.. Not a clue. I know there's many paths I could take. Each one with their own consequences and joys. But this is an adventure I didn't think I had to take alone. Or I wanted to take alone.
Which leads me back to my animal crackers. I know there more at the store. Probably just as good. But this jug was everything I didn't know I wanted. You know, very few broken crackers. No dents on the container. Gave me an awesome sugar rush... Corny, I know, but thats the best I can describe it.
Life goes on.. Time will heal... Or as Joes says, "Take your losses." (He's an accountant.) I'll have many adventures. You can come along if you want. I don't think its fun to travel alone.