allow me the opportunity to be materialistic:
I LOST MY PHONE! GAH!!!!
Okay, i only momentarily lost my phone.
I set up an email account for Lyric! I put hello kitty and pink all over it. Its so freakin cute!
She loves it! Justin and I have already sent her emails. We figure we need to send her emails in ALL CAPS, as that is what she is learning in school right now...
Anyhookahloo...so i start playing with the settings on my email and i'm playing with the calendar and setting it up to send alerts to my cell phone...yahoo sends my phone a confirmation code...after searching all over the apartment, all over my car, it dawns on me i've lost my phone. See, this wouldnt be a big deal except i am one of those people that uses every blessed feature on my phone. I set up reminders on my calender, i have notes, i have loads of numbers. you could call me for information. every time i call a store, restaurant, salon, etc., i save it to my phone...i'm lazy and i dont like looking a number up even once, much less a second time. I know, i know...its weird...i'm a slave to my phone and my calenders...
so i flip...i race over to Walmart and begin calling my phone from justins phone as soon as i hit the doors. Justins ring tone is set up to bawk like a chicken, and my ringer is on SUPER loud...my logic is if someone is walking around in the store with my phone in their pocket, i'll hear their pocket bawking like a chicken and i can come down on them with righteous vengance!
so yeah, i'm a fucking loon.... I accost every lady i see begging for my phone. I get a CSM, (for those of you who have never worked in retail, that's Customer Service Manager, and at Walmart they wear red coats) and she definitely does not want to help me look for my phone at 1:00 a.m. We go over to the CS counter, and she's pulling out drawers and calling the Jewlery counter, (i bought some earrings earlier, and i've stabbed another hole in my head tonight...gimme a break, i was restless!), and at the very last drawer she PULLS OUT MY PHONE, with like 20-something missed calls! (I'm not popular, they were all me going nutts in walmart trying to locate the phone smuggler.) This is how it went:
"this it?"
"OH MY GOD! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY NUMBERS I HAVE ON THAT PHONE?! I'M GONNA HUG YOU! I SWEAR, (she's behind the counter at this point) I'M GONNA GRAB YOU AND HUG YOU!"
she looks at me like i'm nutts and slowly begins to come from around the counter...i'm still rambling about her being an angel from god or something...
"You're welcome." she makes it from behind the counter and i stop huggin my phone and grab her and hug her and shake her and giggle...and...freak her out...
"Okay, have a good night...?" she's starts to dart back her her station on CSM mount.
"THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I'M GONNA DANCE ALL THE WAY TO MY CAR!"
And i did. I leaped and jumped and laughed. People pointed and stared but fuck em' i had my MUTHA FUCKIN PHONE BACK!
WOOHOO!
I blared the radio all the way home. Hootin and hollering the song on the radio out of the windows...
pathetic...
I LOST MY PHONE! GAH!!!!
Okay, i only momentarily lost my phone.
I set up an email account for Lyric! I put hello kitty and pink all over it. Its so freakin cute!
She loves it! Justin and I have already sent her emails. We figure we need to send her emails in ALL CAPS, as that is what she is learning in school right now...
Anyhookahloo...so i start playing with the settings on my email and i'm playing with the calendar and setting it up to send alerts to my cell phone...yahoo sends my phone a confirmation code...after searching all over the apartment, all over my car, it dawns on me i've lost my phone. See, this wouldnt be a big deal except i am one of those people that uses every blessed feature on my phone. I set up reminders on my calender, i have notes, i have loads of numbers. you could call me for information. every time i call a store, restaurant, salon, etc., i save it to my phone...i'm lazy and i dont like looking a number up even once, much less a second time. I know, i know...its weird...i'm a slave to my phone and my calenders...
so i flip...i race over to Walmart and begin calling my phone from justins phone as soon as i hit the doors. Justins ring tone is set up to bawk like a chicken, and my ringer is on SUPER loud...my logic is if someone is walking around in the store with my phone in their pocket, i'll hear their pocket bawking like a chicken and i can come down on them with righteous vengance!
so yeah, i'm a fucking loon.... I accost every lady i see begging for my phone. I get a CSM, (for those of you who have never worked in retail, that's Customer Service Manager, and at Walmart they wear red coats) and she definitely does not want to help me look for my phone at 1:00 a.m. We go over to the CS counter, and she's pulling out drawers and calling the Jewlery counter, (i bought some earrings earlier, and i've stabbed another hole in my head tonight...gimme a break, i was restless!), and at the very last drawer she PULLS OUT MY PHONE, with like 20-something missed calls! (I'm not popular, they were all me going nutts in walmart trying to locate the phone smuggler.) This is how it went:
"this it?"
"OH MY GOD! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY NUMBERS I HAVE ON THAT PHONE?! I'M GONNA HUG YOU! I SWEAR, (she's behind the counter at this point) I'M GONNA GRAB YOU AND HUG YOU!"
she looks at me like i'm nutts and slowly begins to come from around the counter...i'm still rambling about her being an angel from god or something...
"You're welcome." she makes it from behind the counter and i stop huggin my phone and grab her and hug her and shake her and giggle...and...freak her out...
"Okay, have a good night...?" she's starts to dart back her her station on CSM mount.
"THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I'M GONNA DANCE ALL THE WAY TO MY CAR!"
And i did. I leaped and jumped and laughed. People pointed and stared but fuck em' i had my MUTHA FUCKIN PHONE BACK!
WOOHOO!
I blared the radio all the way home. Hootin and hollering the song on the radio out of the windows...
pathetic...
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
Im A pirate. Everbody Knows. I feel Just like Christian Slater.